On point two I think you are both right. His observation that people are infuriated when they see their own flaw in others is often true. But the converse is n

On point two I think you are both right. His observation that people are infuriated when they see their own flaw in others is often true. But the converse is not : if a flaw is noticed, the observer must have that flaw. E.g. ive noticed that I was disgusted by people wasting time at work... over time i've realized this was a judgement on myself that I was externalizing.