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Horrible idea: require a military id to log in to the slot machine; each person's jackpot is equal to the amount they've sunk into the machines, and they're gua

by klyrs 4y ago

Horrible idea: require a military id to log in to the slot machine; each person's jackpot is equal to the amount they've sunk into the machines, and they're guaranteed to pay out every 1000 pulls.

Buttons840 4y ago
That's like my fair slot machine idea, a slot machine that spreads the winnings out evenly. You put in a dollar and then win 95 cents, every time; fun!
- jacobolus 4y ago
  For practical implementation (less change to manage), the machine should probably take $1.01 or $1.05 and return $1. The military base version could just take in $1 and return $1.
  - moduspol 4y ago
    Military base version already for sale here: https://www.gameroomguys.com/American-Changer-AC500-Bill-Changer-Single-Hopper https://www.gameroomguys.com/American-Changer-AC500-Bill-Cha...
  - IanCal 4y ago
    You can further optimise this by taking 1 cent or 5 cents and returning nothing. The military version is simply a button.
- LanceH 4y ago
  I'm offering lottery tickets for half off. They are used, but have a higher expected value than the new ones.
- klyrs 4y ago
  I was kinda aiming for "the methadone of gambling" but I think your idea fits that better than mine.
- kube-system 4y ago
  That's entirely unrealistic. No slot machine pays out 95%.
  - jaywalk 4y ago
    95% every pull, no. But over long periods of time, that's about what most machines pay out.
    - kube-system 4y ago
      I'm mostly joking, but it's closer to 90% https://www.americancasinoguidebook.com/slot-machine-payback-statistics.html https://www.americancasinoguidebook.com/slot-machine-payback...
  - AaronM 4y ago
    According to the Nevada Gaming Control Board, $1 slots pay out an average of 95 percent of receipts. (25 cent slots pay back an average of 93 percent, 5 cent machines: 90 percent.) https://www.lasvegas4newbies.com/chap10-2.html https://www.lasvegas4newbies.com/chap10-2.html
peishang 4y ago
Even more horrible idea: Adjust the payout probability in proportion to the number of enemy combatants that an infantryman has killed.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
DonHopkins 4y ago
At the Brainwash laundromat / cafe in San Francisco (RIP) they had a bill changer that took $20 bills and returned quarters, which was quite fun and entertaining to use, sounded spectacularly jingly, earned you lots of attention and accolades from everyone in the room, and gave reliable 1:1 payouts every time. Plus you could have food and coffee and beer and play video games while waiting for your clothes to clean and dry. That should be implemented at every military base.
- vikingerik 4y ago
  Reminds me of a probably-apocryphal story I read somewhere years ago. "I was in a casino, and saw a doddering old man sitting not at a slot machine but at the change machine. He fed in dollar after dollar, and would cheer and call out 'I won again!' every time it dispensed his quarters. It was harmless, and better he 'play' that than lose at a real slot machine, so I left him alone with his fantasy. I saw him again the next day. I pointed at the change machine and asked why he wasn't playing that one since it was his favorite yesterday. His reply: 'It was dispensing six quarters for every dollar until they fixed it.' "
- nerdponx 4y ago
  Almost every laundromat bill changer I've used accepts 20s. I always felt very self-conscious getting so much change at once, but maybe it'd be more fun if it had lights and bells on it.
  - Symbiote 4y ago
    I remember the opposite experience in the USA when I was a child. We needed to make an international call from a payphone. Struggling with it, eventually my dad called the operator, who said the call cost $8 or so, and we needed to put the coins in quickly. We tried several times, but my dad and I were unable to feed in 32 quarters before something on the machine timed out, and spat them all back out. We wondered why $1 coins weren't in circulation.
    - nerdponx 4y ago

by klyrs 4y ago

Horrible idea: require a military id to log in to the slot machine; each person's jackpot is equal to the amount they've sunk into the machines, and they're guaranteed to pay out every 1000 pulls.

Buttons840 4y ago

That's like my fair slot machine idea, a slot machine that spreads the winnings out evenly. You put in a dollar and then win 95 cents, every time; fun!

jacobolus 4y ago
For practical implementation (less change to manage), the machine should probably take $1.01 or $1.05 and return $1. The military base version could just take in $1 and return $1.
- moduspol 4y ago
  Military base version already for sale here: https://www.gameroomguys.com/American-Changer-AC500-Bill-Changer-Single-Hopper https://www.gameroomguys.com/American-Changer-AC500-Bill-Cha...
- IanCal 4y ago
  You can further optimise this by taking 1 cent or 5 cents and returning nothing. The military version is simply a button.
LanceH 4y ago
I'm offering lottery tickets for half off. They are used, but have a higher expected value than the new ones.
klyrs 4y ago
I was kinda aiming for "the methadone of gambling" but I think your idea fits that better than mine.
kube-system 4y ago
That's entirely unrealistic. No slot machine pays out 95%.
- jaywalk 4y ago
  95% every pull, no. But over long periods of time, that's about what most machines pay out.
  - kube-system 4y ago
    I'm mostly joking, but it's closer to 90% https://www.americancasinoguidebook.com/slot-machine-payback-statistics.html https://www.americancasinoguidebook.com/slot-machine-payback...
- AaronM 4y ago
  According to the Nevada Gaming Control Board, $1 slots pay out an average of 95 percent of receipts. (25 cent slots pay back an average of 93 percent, 5 cent machines: 90 percent.) https://www.lasvegas4newbies.com/chap10-2.html https://www.lasvegas4newbies.com/chap10-2.html

peishang 4y ago

Even more horrible idea: Adjust the payout probability in proportion to the number of enemy combatants that an infantryman has killed.

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

DonHopkins 4y ago

At the Brainwash laundromat / cafe in San Francisco (RIP) they had a bill changer that took $20 bills and returned quarters, which was quite fun and entertaining to use, sounded spectacularly jingly, earned you lots of attention and accolades from everyone in the room, and gave reliable 1:1 payouts every time. Plus you could have food and coffee and beer and play video games while waiting for your clothes to clean and dry. That should be implemented at every military base.

vikingerik 4y ago
Reminds me of a probably-apocryphal story I read somewhere years ago. "I was in a casino, and saw a doddering old man sitting not at a slot machine but at the change machine. He fed in dollar after dollar, and would cheer and call out 'I won again!' every time it dispensed his quarters. It was harmless, and better he 'play' that than lose at a real slot machine, so I left him alone with his fantasy. I saw him again the next day. I pointed at the change machine and asked why he wasn't playing that one since it was his favorite yesterday. His reply: 'It was dispensing six quarters for every dollar until they fixed it.' "
nerdponx 4y ago
Almost every laundromat bill changer I've used accepts 20s. I always felt very self-conscious getting so much change at once, but maybe it'd be more fun if it had lights and bells on it.
- Symbiote 4y ago
  I remember the opposite experience in the USA when I was a child. We needed to make an international call from a payphone. Struggling with it, eventually my dad called the operator, who said the call cost $8 or so, and we needed to put the coins in quickly. We tried several times, but my dad and I were unable to feed in 32 quarters before something on the machine timed out, and spat them all back out. We wondered why $1 coins weren't in circulation.
  - nerdponx 4y ago