3 ms·

So you tried doing what the OP did and ended up going back to your job? Would love to hear more if you don't mind expanding.

wnolens 4y ago
Have a lot to say, it was an emotional journey with highest highs and lowest lows of my life. But can't type it all out. Happy to answer any particular question. In short: I saved up enough not to quit rat race forever, but to see what life was like without the obligation to work for an open ended amount of time. I did whatever the hell I wanted at any moment. Which was euphoric, but it's really really hard to accomplish larger efforts or really meaningful things with that attitude, because those things necessarily come with struggle. With no obligation, you don't need a tolerance to pain. You just quit building your side project when it gets frustrating. I only had staying power doing the things I enjoyed the process of. After 2.5y (the last 1.5y spent doing 20h/wk contract work, and trying to build a startup) I crashed and burned hard psychologically. Freedom means nothing to me intrinsically, I need a reason to appreciate the freedom or make productive use of it. The appreciation wore off, mountains wore off, I don't actually want to code on my own time. Everyone else in life is busy doing meaningful things to them. I broke down and got a job again, but with a much different relationship with work.
- temende 4y ago
  Wow, we actually have very similar trajectories. Except I'm still at the point of doing part-time work + coding side-projects/startups on the side. I agree that the too much freedom can be disorienting. If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up deciding that getting a job again was the right move? How did that compare to keeping doing 20hr/wk contract work and then spending the rest of your time doing non-coding/non-startup stuff if that's what was burning you out?
  - wnolens 4y ago
    I didn't know it was the right move (and still don't? There is no right move?). I was severely depressed, unhelped by the professionals in my ring, and really really did not want a job. But rationally I knew that what I thought was "freedom" was not and was hurting me, so I picked up a decent set of nearby chains to make myself a more useful person and occupy 8h of my day (that was otherwise spent moping about) Contract work for me was boring toil that the companies I worked for couldn't convince someone to join full time to do. Perhaps it's my personality, but no amount of non-professional endeavors/hobbies make up for an empty professional life. I equally burned out of 20h/week + startups because they were unfulfilling.
    - temende 4y ago
      I see. Thanks for your reply - appreciate you sharing your perspective!
- nickd2001 4y ago
  This is a very helpful realistic antidote to all the blogs telling people their life will be just endlessly incredible and. "happy ever after" if they'd save up then quit, buy a camper van etc etc. Mountains are fantastic . I love 'em. But they do indeed wear off if that is all one does.
  - temende 4y ago
    Well to be fair I don’t think you have to become a camper van / mountain person after quitting a job. For example I am living in the same place/city after leaving the workforce a couple years ago and am personally still a lot happier than I ever was having a job. I agree though that type of blanket advice is not helpful.

wnolens 4y ago

Have a lot to say, it was an emotional journey with highest highs and lowest lows of my life. But can't type it all out. Happy to answer any particular question. In short: I saved up enough not to quit rat race forever, but to see what life was like without the obligation to work for an open ended amount of time. I did whatever the hell I wanted at any moment. Which was euphoric, but it's really really hard to accomplish larger efforts or really meaningful things with that attitude, because those things necessarily come with struggle. With no obligation, you don't need a tolerance to pain. You just quit building your side project when it gets frustrating. I only had staying power doing the things I enjoyed the process of. After 2.5y (the last 1.5y spent doing 20h/wk contract work, and trying to build a startup) I crashed and burned hard psychologically. Freedom means nothing to me intrinsically, I need a reason to appreciate the freedom or make productive use of it. The appreciation wore off, mountains wore off, I don't actually want to code on my own time. Everyone else in life is busy doing meaningful things to them. I broke down and got a job again, but with a much different relationship with work.

temende 4y ago
Wow, we actually have very similar trajectories. Except I'm still at the point of doing part-time work + coding side-projects/startups on the side. I agree that the too much freedom can be disorienting. If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up deciding that getting a job again was the right move? How did that compare to keeping doing 20hr/wk contract work and then spending the rest of your time doing non-coding/non-startup stuff if that's what was burning you out?
- wnolens 4y ago
  I didn't know it was the right move (and still don't? There is no right move?). I was severely depressed, unhelped by the professionals in my ring, and really really did not want a job. But rationally I knew that what I thought was "freedom" was not and was hurting me, so I picked up a decent set of nearby chains to make myself a more useful person and occupy 8h of my day (that was otherwise spent moping about) Contract work for me was boring toil that the companies I worked for couldn't convince someone to join full time to do. Perhaps it's my personality, but no amount of non-professional endeavors/hobbies make up for an empty professional life. I equally burned out of 20h/week + startups because they were unfulfilling.
  - temende 4y ago
    I see. Thanks for your reply - appreciate you sharing your perspective!
nickd2001 4y ago
This is a very helpful realistic antidote to all the blogs telling people their life will be just endlessly incredible and. "happy ever after" if they'd save up then quit, buy a camper van etc etc. Mountains are fantastic . I love 'em. But they do indeed wear off if that is all one does.
- temende 4y ago
  Well to be fair I don’t think you have to become a camper van / mountain person after quitting a job. For example I am living in the same place/city after leaving the workforce a couple years ago and am personally still a lot happier than I ever was having a job. I agree though that type of blanket advice is not helpful.