I agree, but there may be a single change of circumstances that will open a path to something new. For example, if OP can accumulate enough $ to leave their job

I agree, but there may be a single change of circumstances that will open a path to something new. For example, if OP can accumulate enough $ to leave their job with at least a reasonable level of financial security, they might find that in the absence of the job's mental and physical overhead, heretofore obscured options would appear.