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Same in my case. I quit my first software job because it made me feel so meaningless and depressed. I was immediately happier. I quit my second job because they

by sudoit 4y ago

Same in my case. I quit my first software job because it made me feel so meaningless and depressed. I was immediately happier. I quit my second job because they overworked me. Same result. I have less money now, but I don’t care. I’m much happier being where I am now. People underestimate just how much work life affects your entire life.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
gymbeaux 4y ago
You spend most of your life at work (at least in the US). 24 hours in a day. 8 of them spent working. 1 hour for lunch. ~2 hours getting ready for work/sleep each day. 8 hours for sleep... that leaves you with ~5 hours per day, but you also have to do chores around the house, maybe pickup/dropoff kiddos, commute (if you don't work from home), and cook dinner and clean up afterwards. If you have 2 hours a day to yourself to pursue your interests/dreams, you are "fucked".
- codeOnMaster 4y ago
  What do you mean by “fucked”? If you don’t enjoy your job, you’re fucked? Seems like you’re saying you’re fucked unless you work less hours.
  - gymbeaux 4y ago
    Yeah, you're fucked unless you work fewer hours. By "fucked" I mean "doomed to a relatively-miserable existence". I don't care if you have a FETISH for writing code, you do not want to do it ~40 hours/week. We need a four-day (32-hour) workweek. Give me a 20% pay cut, I don't care. Most of us here make well over $100k/year. What we need is TIME.
  - dinosaurdynasty 4y ago
    And in the US it is rare to be able to get health insurance without working full time. Good luck with that.
    - gymbeaux 4y ago
      This is, of course, by design. ACA made it a bit more realistic for part-time/self-employed people to get health insurance, however if you have to get your insurance through the ACA marketplace (healthcare.gov), you ARE paying more for it than if you were a FTE drone.
- scruple 4y ago
  Even if you do manage to find 2 hours to yourself, it's typically at the end of the day and you're utterly, completely exhausted. I've found that, with young kids in the mix, the best thing I can do with my hour-ish at the end of a long day is read, or draw, or just spend some quiet time with my spouse. Anything else requires mental energy that I simply don't have. Even the video games that I play at the end of the average day need to be fairly brainless or else I'm not enjoying my time.
  - gymbeaux 4y ago
    I don't even have a wife and kids yet, but I already find many of the video games I enjoyed as a teenager to be too demanding. Fallout New Vegas was an awesome game, and I remember spending virtually my entire summer vacation one year playing through Fallout 3. I gave New Vegas another go recently and it just feels like work. It sucks. Like I just want to get through the game so it will be done.
    - sgtnoodle 4y ago
      Indeed, I resemble that remark. I've been on paternity leave for the last couple months with kid 2. I have 10 minute slivers of down time throughout the day, and I can sacrifice sleep for a few hours of focus at night. I've been playing through L.A. Noire just to cross it off my bucket list, and I shamelessly refer to walkthroughs on every case. It's an alternative to watching a TV show in the evening. Typically when I play a game I like to explore every nook and cranny, trying to find secrets and glitches and stuff. Lately it just gives me anxiety to start a new game when I know it will be on deck for years. I've been playing through Tomb Raider since 2019 and I'm not finished yet... I think I need to consciously change my play style and expectations, and just barrel through main story lines. I went over to a younger coworker's apartment last night to play video games, which is a very rare activity for me. Left 4 Dead was a lot of fun a decade ago. He loaded up whatever the latest call of duty zombie horde shooting game is, and it was more stressful than fun. I have an interesting anecdote about stress and Tomb Raider. In 2020 my heart AV nerves all stopped working. My effective heart rate got down to 20-30bpm, and wouldn't increase with demand. A few days before I ended up in the hospital, I tried playing Tomb Raider just to see what would happen. After about 5 minutes my peripheral vision started to black out and I felt like I was having a panic attack!
- wreath 4y ago
  > You spend most of your life at work (at least in the US) Where else in the world people dont spens most of their lives at work?
  - gymbeaux 4y ago
    In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary). In some cases, you must be a parent to be eligible for this.. but yeah, in places like New Zealand and The Netherlands, if you don't want to work 5 days a week, you don't have to.
    - mythhouse 4y ago
      > In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary) I work for a large swedish company in USA. None of my coworkers in sweden work less than 40 hrs, like not even one. So is having that choice really relevant and does it really make it different than USA.
      - gymbeaux 4y ago
        I'm not familiar with the laws of Sweden, but a quick Google search suggests there is a law on the books limiting the workweek to 40 hours. Even if that is only marginally-heeded, it's leaps and bounds ahead of the United States. If Swedish residents can work fewer than 40 hours at their discretion, why is it you think most in your circle do not take advantage of this? Qualtrics released the results of a survey recently stating that 92% of Americans are in favor of a 4-day workweek (that's not necessarily 32-hours)[1] [1]https://www.qualtrics.com/blog/four-day-work-week/ https://www.qualtrics.com/blog/four-day-work-week/
        mythhouse 4y ago
        > If Swedish residents can work fewer than 40 hours at their discretion, why is it you think most in your circle do not take advantage of this? Maybe because they want the money and working 40hrs isn't so bad? But i really have no idea. That survey isn't directly related to your original point about working less than 40hrs. If you are claming that its much different in other countries mere existence of some law isn't enough, it would be a stronger point if you had quoted how many people are actually taking a paycut in those countries in exchange for a day off. Also sounds like you haven't really looked into laws of MOST first world countries ( whatever that means) yet you made that claim without any proof.
bumby 4y ago
>People underestimate just how much work life affects your entire life. It would be interesting to see how cultural aspects affect this. In the West, it seems like so much of our life/identity is focused on our job. "What do you do for a living?" is one of the most common opening questions upon meeting someone. I wonder if the impact of work life on one's happiness more muted elsewhere.

by sudoit 4y ago

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

gymbeaux 4y ago

You spend most of your life at work (at least in the US). 24 hours in a day. 8 of them spent working. 1 hour for lunch. ~2 hours getting ready for work/sleep each day. 8 hours for sleep... that leaves you with ~5 hours per day, but you also have to do chores around the house, maybe pickup/dropoff kiddos, commute (if you don't work from home), and cook dinner and clean up afterwards. If you have 2 hours a day to yourself to pursue your interests/dreams, you are "fucked".

codeOnMaster 4y ago
What do you mean by “fucked”? If you don’t enjoy your job, you’re fucked? Seems like you’re saying you’re fucked unless you work less hours.
- gymbeaux 4y ago
  Yeah, you're fucked unless you work fewer hours. By "fucked" I mean "doomed to a relatively-miserable existence". I don't care if you have a FETISH for writing code, you do not want to do it ~40 hours/week. We need a four-day (32-hour) workweek. Give me a 20% pay cut, I don't care. Most of us here make well over $100k/year. What we need is TIME.
- dinosaurdynasty 4y ago
  And in the US it is rare to be able to get health insurance without working full time. Good luck with that.
  - gymbeaux 4y ago
    This is, of course, by design. ACA made it a bit more realistic for part-time/self-employed people to get health insurance, however if you have to get your insurance through the ACA marketplace (healthcare.gov), you ARE paying more for it than if you were a FTE drone.
scruple 4y ago
Even if you do manage to find 2 hours to yourself, it's typically at the end of the day and you're utterly, completely exhausted. I've found that, with young kids in the mix, the best thing I can do with my hour-ish at the end of a long day is read, or draw, or just spend some quiet time with my spouse. Anything else requires mental energy that I simply don't have. Even the video games that I play at the end of the average day need to be fairly brainless or else I'm not enjoying my time.
- gymbeaux 4y ago
  I don't even have a wife and kids yet, but I already find many of the video games I enjoyed as a teenager to be too demanding. Fallout New Vegas was an awesome game, and I remember spending virtually my entire summer vacation one year playing through Fallout 3. I gave New Vegas another go recently and it just feels like work. It sucks. Like I just want to get through the game so it will be done.
  - sgtnoodle 4y ago
    Indeed, I resemble that remark. I've been on paternity leave for the last couple months with kid 2. I have 10 minute slivers of down time throughout the day, and I can sacrifice sleep for a few hours of focus at night. I've been playing through L.A. Noire just to cross it off my bucket list, and I shamelessly refer to walkthroughs on every case. It's an alternative to watching a TV show in the evening. Typically when I play a game I like to explore every nook and cranny, trying to find secrets and glitches and stuff. Lately it just gives me anxiety to start a new game when I know it will be on deck for years. I've been playing through Tomb Raider since 2019 and I'm not finished yet... I think I need to consciously change my play style and expectations, and just barrel through main story lines. I went over to a younger coworker's apartment last night to play video games, which is a very rare activity for me. Left 4 Dead was a lot of fun a decade ago. He loaded up whatever the latest call of duty zombie horde shooting game is, and it was more stressful than fun. I have an interesting anecdote about stress and Tomb Raider. In 2020 my heart AV nerves all stopped working. My effective heart rate got down to 20-30bpm, and wouldn't increase with demand. A few days before I ended up in the hospital, I tried playing Tomb Raider just to see what would happen. After about 5 minutes my peripheral vision started to black out and I felt like I was having a panic attack!
wreath 4y ago
> You spend most of your life at work (at least in the US) Where else in the world people dont spens most of their lives at work?
- gymbeaux 4y ago
  In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary). In some cases, you must be a parent to be eligible for this.. but yeah, in places like New Zealand and The Netherlands, if you don't want to work 5 days a week, you don't have to.
  - mythhouse 4y ago
    > In MOST other first-world countries, the working class has the RIGHT to elect to work less than 40 hours/5 days per week (in exchange for a proportional reduction in salary) I work for a large swedish company in USA. None of my coworkers in sweden work less than 40 hrs, like not even one. So is having that choice really relevant and does it really make it different than USA.
    - gymbeaux 4y ago
      I'm not familiar with the laws of Sweden, but a quick Google search suggests there is a law on the books limiting the workweek to 40 hours. Even if that is only marginally-heeded, it's leaps and bounds ahead of the United States. If Swedish residents can work fewer than 40 hours at their discretion, why is it you think most in your circle do not take advantage of this? Qualtrics released the results of a survey recently stating that 92% of Americans are in favor of a 4-day workweek (that's not necessarily 32-hours)[1] [1]https://www.qualtrics.com/blog/four-day-work-week/ https://www.qualtrics.com/blog/four-day-work-week/
      - mythhouse 4y ago
        > If Swedish residents can work fewer than 40 hours at their discretion, why is it you think most in your circle do not take advantage of this? Maybe because they want the money and working 40hrs isn't so bad? But i really have no idea. That survey isn't directly related to your original point about working less than 40hrs. If you are claming that its much different in other countries mere existence of some law isn't enough, it would be a stronger point if you had quoted how many people are actually taking a paycut in those countries in exchange for a day off. Also sounds like you haven't really looked into laws of MOST first world countries ( whatever that means) yet you made that claim without any proof.

bumby 4y ago

>People underestimate just how much work life affects your entire life. It would be interesting to see how cultural aspects affect this. In the West, it seems like so much of our life/identity is focused on our job. "What do you do for a living?" is one of the most common opening questions upon meeting someone. I wonder if the impact of work life on one's happiness more muted elsewhere.