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I used to do that until I moved to US. Now the stress of working long hours, constant anxiety of layoffs, working on next cutting edge tech, raising a kid witho

by nus07 4y ago

I used to do that until I moved to US. Now the stress of working long hours, constant anxiety of layoffs, working on next cutting edge tech, raising a kid without any family or community help, constant fear of losing healthcare insurance leaves me exhausted. I don’t have time to cook, exercise or sleep well. I guess that is the American dream.

bequanna 4y ago
I see what you’re trying to do, but everything you list is the result of personal lifestyle choices. It is unfortunate that you’re having a difficult time but where you live and work is completely up to you.
- afarviral 4y ago
  It may not be a conscious choice but an unconscious belief about themselves, such as that they are not productive enough, or that their feelings are not valid.
- SamoyedFurFluff 4y ago
  This individualism logic is borderline propaganda. It is not a “personal lifestyle choice” to have children. Children are a biological necessity if we want to continue as a species. The fact that society doesn’t support healthy parenting is not an individual failure, but a failure of society. Similarly, it is not a “personal lifestyle choice” to live in economic insecurity due to layoffs. It’s the fault of corporate greed coming back to bite corporations and instead of the executives responsible paying for it, it’s the employees that had no decision making power. We are not individuals with some godly ability to warp reality to fit our health. We are all subject to a society that isn’t incentivized to prioritize the wholistic health of the people living in it.
  - bequanna 4y ago
    The parent comment is complaining about the difficulty raising children. If you have children without accounting for how that is going to change your life, I guess I don’t have much sympathy for you. And layoffs are a reality of the economic cycle, not merely because some “greedy corporation” decided to fire ppl on a whim. If there is less work than workers or business outlook changes, what would you do? Keep on employees to dig ditches and fill them in out of the goodness of your heart?
    - SamoyedFurFluff 4y ago
      You are blaming individual families on one hand for not budgeting for children and giving CEOs the benefit of the doubt for not budgeting for economic headwinds. This is the precise propaganda I was talking about. At least I have a consistent logic: if the issue is that we have an unhealthy population we should prioritize the health of the population. Give people the time to exercise and cook. Give people the healthcare they need. Give people who fall down a way to get back up without crushing humiliation, debasement, and poverty trauma.
    - caeril 4y ago
      It's also a poor excuse. I have a full-time job, am raising multiple children, and I fit gym and meal prep into my schedule just fine. When people say they don't "have time", examine their television, video game, or social media habits. You'll find that 99% of the time they are liars. We all have plenty of time, it's just a matter of priority. For many, imposing an unnecessary burden on the healthcare system is a small price to pay for having watched plenty of TikTok and knowing the minutiae of Game of Thrones. On their (premature) deathbeds, they'll all wish they'd finished Season 6 of The Expanse and clicked on more heart icons.
- cduzz 4y ago
  "Where you live and work is completely up to you" That's a patently false statement for a huge number of people now and the vast majority of people throughout history. There's a kaleidoscope of possibility around people's behavior, station, and life between "Fully Self Actualizing Superman" and "Lazy schmuck who gets what they deserve."
  - francisofascii 4y ago
    Sure, it is false for many. But many of us on HN moved away from family to chase the excitement of Bay Area, NYC, etc. to work on cutting edge tech. And we could potentially have no problem getting hired at a boring, less stressful, 9-5 job tech job back where our families live. Many of us here have options.
    - cduzz 4y ago
      So -- if you want to say "Where a person lives and works is discretionary for a very small number of people for a small period of their lives" that's a more correct statement. The blanket statement "Where you live and work is completely up to you" is a deeply naive and insulting opinion of the same flavor as "let them eat cake"

by nus07 4y ago

bequanna 4y ago

I see what you’re trying to do, but everything you list is the result of personal lifestyle choices. It is unfortunate that you’re having a difficult time but where you live and work is completely up to you.

afarviral 4y ago
It may not be a conscious choice but an unconscious belief about themselves, such as that they are not productive enough, or that their feelings are not valid.
SamoyedFurFluff 4y ago
This individualism logic is borderline propaganda. It is not a “personal lifestyle choice” to have children. Children are a biological necessity if we want to continue as a species. The fact that society doesn’t support healthy parenting is not an individual failure, but a failure of society. Similarly, it is not a “personal lifestyle choice” to live in economic insecurity due to layoffs. It’s the fault of corporate greed coming back to bite corporations and instead of the executives responsible paying for it, it’s the employees that had no decision making power. We are not individuals with some godly ability to warp reality to fit our health. We are all subject to a society that isn’t incentivized to prioritize the wholistic health of the people living in it.
- bequanna 4y ago
  The parent comment is complaining about the difficulty raising children. If you have children without accounting for how that is going to change your life, I guess I don’t have much sympathy for you. And layoffs are a reality of the economic cycle, not merely because some “greedy corporation” decided to fire ppl on a whim. If there is less work than workers or business outlook changes, what would you do? Keep on employees to dig ditches and fill them in out of the goodness of your heart?
  - SamoyedFurFluff 4y ago
    You are blaming individual families on one hand for not budgeting for children and giving CEOs the benefit of the doubt for not budgeting for economic headwinds. This is the precise propaganda I was talking about. At least I have a consistent logic: if the issue is that we have an unhealthy population we should prioritize the health of the population. Give people the time to exercise and cook. Give people the healthcare they need. Give people who fall down a way to get back up without crushing humiliation, debasement, and poverty trauma.
  - caeril 4y ago
    It's also a poor excuse. I have a full-time job, am raising multiple children, and I fit gym and meal prep into my schedule just fine. When people say they don't "have time", examine their television, video game, or social media habits. You'll find that 99% of the time they are liars. We all have plenty of time, it's just a matter of priority. For many, imposing an unnecessary burden on the healthcare system is a small price to pay for having watched plenty of TikTok and knowing the minutiae of Game of Thrones. On their (premature) deathbeds, they'll all wish they'd finished Season 6 of The Expanse and clicked on more heart icons.
cduzz 4y ago
"Where you live and work is completely up to you" That's a patently false statement for a huge number of people now and the vast majority of people throughout history. There's a kaleidoscope of possibility around people's behavior, station, and life between "Fully Self Actualizing Superman" and "Lazy schmuck who gets what they deserve."
- francisofascii 4y ago
  Sure, it is false for many. But many of us on HN moved away from family to chase the excitement of Bay Area, NYC, etc. to work on cutting edge tech. And we could potentially have no problem getting hired at a boring, less stressful, 9-5 job tech job back where our families live. Many of us here have options.
  - cduzz 4y ago
    So -- if you want to say "Where a person lives and works is discretionary for a very small number of people for a small period of their lives" that's a more correct statement. The blanket statement "Where you live and work is completely up to you" is a deeply naive and insulting opinion of the same flavor as "let them eat cake"