A) 3 months is like nothing! I have been learning software engineering for like 9 years and still don't consider myself an expert. B) You are not a walking re

A) 3 months is like nothing! I have been learning software engineering for like 9 years and still don't consider myself an expert. B) You are not a walking reference book to remember everything. Everyone (including me) is constantly googling, especially doing real-world tasks. This is why StackOverflow et al. exist! C) You are not a designer that creates good-looking web sites. You are an engineer that brings the designer's ideas into reality. May be you are a bad designer, but that doesn't mean you are a bad software engineer. D) You don't need to repeat tutorials. You need to get the job done. If that requires you to watch a tutorial that's OK. This doesn't differ much from googling stuff. E) You are getting fluent in language by getting used to it. And this requires a lot of time. Like a lot. Compare this to the real world: you can navigate through world with ease. But this didn't came to you in 3 months. You learned to walk, to talk, to manipulate things with your hands. All of this required several years! And here how you done it: you touched this and that object, rotated, throwed, picked it up, looked at it at every angel, bite, sniff; done this with hundreds of real-world objects and now you are "fluent" in real world. You have experienced all the spectrum of things that gave you skills that is need for you to be able to, for example, go to a grocery store. There is SO much more to experience in life, but at least you already can go shopping by yourself. Same with programming languages. You need to look at every construction at every angel, try and fail, and finally get used to the language (and languages in general). Moreover, this works for everything: math, physics, programming, video games, guitar, chess, etc. So, don't lose hope man. You will master it if willing to sacrifice enough time.