I want my ashes thrown in a 1-gal pickle jar with liquid mercury, shaken up and then thrown at an obsolete chemotherapy machine which will then fall off the bac

I want my ashes thrown in a 1-gal pickle jar with liquid mercury, shaken up and then thrown at an obsolete chemotherapy machine which will then fall off the back of a truck in front of the statehouse at 3am, or something like that. I'll make sure to set aside bail money and whatnot for my heirs.