3 ms·

I've seen this in a few places before. 1 and 2 should be daily/biweekly/weekly check-ins either via a stand up or by a message/email, they do not warrant a 1-o

I've seen this in a few places before. 1 and 2 should be daily/biweekly/weekly check-ins either via a stand up or by a message/email, they do not warrant a 1-on-1 and wastes people's time to make managers feel better. 3 seems like it could be abused by a manager and feels a little forced by the sounds of it. Does the manager share equally about their availability to act accordingly?

cauthon 4y ago
> 1 and 2 should be daily/biweekly/weekly check-ins either via a stand up or by a message/email, they do not warrant a 1-on-1 and wastes people's time to make managers feel better Some people communicate or receive feedback better in person/video than over email, and that's okay!
- OJFord 4y ago
  Which might be why GP said 'either via a stand up or'?
eterevsky 4y ago
It is not about simple updates. Questions about project prioritisation and blockers totally belong to a 1-on-1. They are easier to discuss face to face rather than over email.
kayodelycaon 4y ago
#3 can work. My last two managers were decent people with interesting stuff they did outside of work. I've enjoyed sharing some war stories in my experience volunteering at various places. I'll totally talk for hours about any number of topics. I've also done what's probably "life coaching". There are a lot of things I've learned managing a mental illness. Not a therapist, but I know a lot of the techniques and what's worked for me or other people.
- projectazorian 4y ago
  > I've also done what's probably "life coaching". There are a lot of things I've learned managing a mental illness. Not a therapist, but I know a lot of the techniques and what's worked for me or other people. Be careful about playing work therapist, it can lead to boundaries getting blurred in a way that becomes detrimental to the relationship and ultimately your career over the long run.
  - kayodelycaon 4y ago
    Yeah. I don't play therapist. I just offer to give advice from time to time. I know where to point people. Knowing where to start or what the options are is invaluable. If someone really needs help, the most I'll do is spend 15 minutes showing them how to find a suitable professional.
- theshrike79 4y ago
  I had to play therapist to a few teammates and I never want to repeat that experience again. It's really stressful trying to prod someone to get their life back together when they clearly need professional help and maybe medication. I'm an engineer, I'm not built to be a life coach in any way.
  - kayodelycaon 4y ago
    Yeah. I used the term loosely. I don't play therapist. I just give advice occasionally. With my current job, I do check in to see if my coworkers aren't overworking themselves, but it's a mutual thing. Team culture is pretty awesome. Only close friends get my time and energy. (Coworkers are not friends.) Even then, I've got firm boundaries. I'll be there when I can but I'm nobody's emotional support dog. :)
dkokelley 4y ago
#3 can be abused, but a 1 on 1 isn't meant to solve a bad culture. Think of it more like "oh yeah my kid just started soccer at school", "we found this neat new restaurant", etc. It's relationship building. Work is more fun when you like the people you work with!

cauthon 4y ago

> 1 and 2 should be daily/biweekly/weekly check-ins either via a stand up or by a message/email, they do not warrant a 1-on-1 and wastes people's time to make managers feel better Some people communicate or receive feedback better in person/video than over email, and that's okay!

OJFord 4y ago
Which might be why GP said 'either via a stand up or'?

eterevsky 4y ago

It is not about simple updates. Questions about project prioritisation and blockers totally belong to a 1-on-1. They are easier to discuss face to face rather than over email.

kayodelycaon 4y ago

#3 can work. My last two managers were decent people with interesting stuff they did outside of work. I've enjoyed sharing some war stories in my experience volunteering at various places. I'll totally talk for hours about any number of topics. I've also done what's probably "life coaching". There are a lot of things I've learned managing a mental illness. Not a therapist, but I know a lot of the techniques and what's worked for me or other people.

projectazorian 4y ago
> I've also done what's probably "life coaching". There are a lot of things I've learned managing a mental illness. Not a therapist, but I know a lot of the techniques and what's worked for me or other people. Be careful about playing work therapist, it can lead to boundaries getting blurred in a way that becomes detrimental to the relationship and ultimately your career over the long run.
- kayodelycaon 4y ago
  Yeah. I don't play therapist. I just offer to give advice from time to time. I know where to point people. Knowing where to start or what the options are is invaluable. If someone really needs help, the most I'll do is spend 15 minutes showing them how to find a suitable professional.
theshrike79 4y ago
I had to play therapist to a few teammates and I never want to repeat that experience again. It's really stressful trying to prod someone to get their life back together when they clearly need professional help and maybe medication. I'm an engineer, I'm not built to be a life coach in any way.
- kayodelycaon 4y ago
  Yeah. I used the term loosely. I don't play therapist. I just give advice occasionally. With my current job, I do check in to see if my coworkers aren't overworking themselves, but it's a mutual thing. Team culture is pretty awesome. Only close friends get my time and energy. (Coworkers are not friends.) Even then, I've got firm boundaries. I'll be there when I can but I'm nobody's emotional support dog. :)

dkokelley 4y ago

#3 can be abused, but a 1 on 1 isn't meant to solve a bad culture. Think of it more like "oh yeah my kid just started soccer at school", "we found this neat new restaurant", etc. It's relationship building. Work is more fun when you like the people you work with!