4 ms·

Victim blaming does NOT just happen with SA cases. I know someone that was mugged in a small town. When he reported to the police it was recommended for him not

Victim blaming does NOT just happen with SA cases. I know someone that was mugged in a small town. When he reported to the police it was recommended for him not to file an official report, because they would be forced to arrest him for underage drinking. P.S. Arrest doesn't mean taken away in cuffs, so it was probably gonna be a ticket. Still, this is utterly ridiculous.

kkielhofner 4y ago
It's interesting you mention SA cases. I'm not proud to admit it but prior to this experience I was firmly in the camp of "Of COURSE you report it, go to the police, testify, etc". In my incident even though the responding officers were terrible, racist, victim blaming, etc they filed what I'm sure was a mandatory report. I received a call (voicemail) from a detective about a week later. I was still having nightmares and pretty messed up at that point. I never even called them back - I just wanted to move on and after the initial experience with the police I didn't even want to think about how much worse it could get. I felt (and still feel) very violated and a bit traumatized by the experience. I can't even remotely imagine how much more violated I would feel if it was a SA. The most positive outcome of this experience was the 180 in my understanding of these types of violations and the empathy I acquired. Again, I'm not proud to admit it and I'm still a little bothered it took something happening to me personally to better understand this. While we're on the topic of empathy I also better understand poverty. The perpetrators of this incident risked kidnapping, armed robbery, who knows what charges with what I'm sure would be considerable amounts of jail time - for the $100 I had in my pocket and $100 (or whatever) they got from selling my locked iPhone to part out (after being marked stolen with iCloud it pinged once several months later - from China IIRC). I couldn't imagine risking going to jail for $100,000 let alone $100. Poverty and life circumstances create a level of desperation I can't fathom.
- P_I_Staker 4y ago
  It's worth pointing out that many people go through these experiences and never do anything like that. There's homeless drug addicts that would commit crimes, but never hold someone up at gunpoint... maybe break into a house and run away when there's an intruder, and feel very guilty. At risk of sounding like a conservative (I don't consider myself one), greed, as well as a culture of violence, and wanting to be tough come into play. Lots of working stiffs out there, predominately POCs (due to inequality), will simply work the shit job and roll with the punches... as I understand, these people often suffer more than anyone, because despite keeping it on the straight an narrow, they are usually the most likely to be victimized. That said, I see it this way: some people are predisposed to crime. Think of it like a genetic thing (in some cases probably it is). Under harsh conditions these people are far more likely to turn to extremism, and crime. You kinda had it figured out. What was the point of going through all that for $100? It probably isn't even the best risk / reward ratio... some people just don't want to do "sneak crimes". Go to a prison and I bet some of the inmates say it themselves. That said, the reality of living in a world stacked against you weighs on people, and working degrading jobs and dealing with bigotry must be exhausting and infuriating. To some the extreme fridges of society, and violence, feel more dignifying than playing a rigged game, and being insulted all along the way.
  - lovehashbrowns 4y ago
    Another piece of the puzzle to add to what you've said, is the feeling of helplessness/hopelessness that can get locked in at a young age. When I was growing up, there were a lot of kids that didn't view their future with any kind of optimism. So really, what difference does it make if they go to jail for selling drugs, armed robbery, running from the cops, etc. That's pretty much how I viewed things, except instead of leading a life of crime I just wanted to do something much more drastic. Of course, I was super young when that viewpoint permeated my thought process, so that viewpoint is still there but not to the same extreme. It's a lot more convincing as a preteen (or even younger), seeing your friend's friends and family members making "a living" from crime, and then looking at your life with what seems like no opportunity or a respectable future.
    - P_I_Staker 4y ago
      Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I kinda glossed over that, but that’s part of the poor conditions I mentioned. You will certainly feel helplessness from time to time. Some people cope worse than others… I could see myself going that route under different conditions.
namaria 4y ago
What are SA cases?

kkielhofner 4y ago

It's interesting you mention SA cases. I'm not proud to admit it but prior to this experience I was firmly in the camp of "Of COURSE you report it, go to the police, testify, etc". In my incident even though the responding officers were terrible, racist, victim blaming, etc they filed what I'm sure was a mandatory report. I received a call (voicemail) from a detective about a week later. I was still having nightmares and pretty messed up at that point. I never even called them back - I just wanted to move on and after the initial experience with the police I didn't even want to think about how much worse it could get. I felt (and still feel) very violated and a bit traumatized by the experience. I can't even remotely imagine how much more violated I would feel if it was a SA. The most positive outcome of this experience was the 180 in my understanding of these types of violations and the empathy I acquired. Again, I'm not proud to admit it and I'm still a little bothered it took something happening to me personally to better understand this. While we're on the topic of empathy I also better understand poverty. The perpetrators of this incident risked kidnapping, armed robbery, who knows what charges with what I'm sure would be considerable amounts of jail time - for the $100 I had in my pocket and $100 (or whatever) they got from selling my locked iPhone to part out (after being marked stolen with iCloud it pinged once several months later - from China IIRC). I couldn't imagine risking going to jail for $100,000 let alone $100. Poverty and life circumstances create a level of desperation I can't fathom.

P_I_Staker 4y ago
It's worth pointing out that many people go through these experiences and never do anything like that. There's homeless drug addicts that would commit crimes, but never hold someone up at gunpoint... maybe break into a house and run away when there's an intruder, and feel very guilty. At risk of sounding like a conservative (I don't consider myself one), greed, as well as a culture of violence, and wanting to be tough come into play. Lots of working stiffs out there, predominately POCs (due to inequality), will simply work the shit job and roll with the punches... as I understand, these people often suffer more than anyone, because despite keeping it on the straight an narrow, they are usually the most likely to be victimized. That said, I see it this way: some people are predisposed to crime. Think of it like a genetic thing (in some cases probably it is). Under harsh conditions these people are far more likely to turn to extremism, and crime. You kinda had it figured out. What was the point of going through all that for $100? It probably isn't even the best risk / reward ratio... some people just don't want to do "sneak crimes". Go to a prison and I bet some of the inmates say it themselves. That said, the reality of living in a world stacked against you weighs on people, and working degrading jobs and dealing with bigotry must be exhausting and infuriating. To some the extreme fridges of society, and violence, feel more dignifying than playing a rigged game, and being insulted all along the way.
- lovehashbrowns 4y ago
  Another piece of the puzzle to add to what you've said, is the feeling of helplessness/hopelessness that can get locked in at a young age. When I was growing up, there were a lot of kids that didn't view their future with any kind of optimism. So really, what difference does it make if they go to jail for selling drugs, armed robbery, running from the cops, etc. That's pretty much how I viewed things, except instead of leading a life of crime I just wanted to do something much more drastic. Of course, I was super young when that viewpoint permeated my thought process, so that viewpoint is still there but not to the same extreme. It's a lot more convincing as a preteen (or even younger), seeing your friend's friends and family members making "a living" from crime, and then looking at your life with what seems like no opportunity or a respectable future.
  - P_I_Staker 4y ago
    Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I kinda glossed over that, but that’s part of the poor conditions I mentioned. You will certainly feel helplessness from time to time. Some people cope worse than others… I could see myself going that route under different conditions.

namaria 4y ago

What are SA cases?