> Can you name a example? Genuinly interested. I'm not the right person to ask about this, but there's a list on the Nonbinary wiki[0]. (Remember to check the

> Can you name a example? Genuinly interested. I'm not the right person to ask about this, but there's a list on the Nonbinary wiki[0]. (Remember to check the Further reading and References sections; Nonbinary wiki articles can be a bit hit-or-miss.) Some of them "don't count" from a "sexuality/gender distinction" perspective, but that philosophy isn't universal in cultural studies, and I think it's starting to become less universal in mainstream feminism. > And so here my initial comment is flagged as well, apparently from the other side. So was mine – and a really trollish one's been vouched for, too. *shrug* That's just how these things go. > Is there really no more middle ground? Sure there is. • Be slightly kinder than you have to. • Don't get famous, and especially don't get internet famous. You're doing it right already. I like to think I'm doing it right (but I think I'm getting into too many internet arguments for that). > This is my problem with this whole debate, it polarizes and increases the rifts in society. The whole "debate" is recent, and artificial; I suspect it only exists to create justification for the claim that trans rights are "controversial" (despite widespread public support in places like the UK). Don't let yourself get sucked in. So long as you're not insisting when people say they don't want to engage[1] (even when they're being rude and you're being polite – remember, you might be the fifth person this week, and the other four might've been trolling bigots), and so long as you're not playing Devil's Advocate[2] or poking holes / finding gotchas, it's fine to ask questions. (If you're seeing "gotchas", it usually means that there's a drastic difference between your understanding of the subject matter and the understanding of whoever you're listening to.) Oh, and take things critically. Much feminist discourse online is very ill-informed, and I'm no exception. There are people who say Always Do X because ABC, or Never Do Y because DEF – but they're talking about their own experiences, and their reasoning might not apply universally. Don't mistake confidence for competence, and don't dismiss somebody just because they're not using the "right words" for things. Question your confidence, but don't shy overmuch away from questioning other people's: here, asking for reasoning is a much better approach than telling people they're wrong. If it's necessary to do so, emphasise why you don't understand (e.g. "My native language barely has gendered adjective declension; could you give some more examples?"), rather than that you don't understand (e.g. "why does it matter? I still don't get it"). Take this advice critically, too. [0]: https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldw... [1]: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/problem-with-educate-me/ https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/problem-with-educate-me... [2]: https://feministing.com/2014/05/30/an-open-letter-to-privileged-people-who-play-devils-advocate/ https://feministing.com/2014/05/30/an-open-letter-to-privile...