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> in a world where a notice can announce in all seriousness: "In order to better serve you, we are closed this afternoon." This is so spot-on. I am not sure th
by dstroot 4y ago
> in a world where a notice can announce in all seriousness: "In order to better serve you, we are closed this afternoon."
This is so spot-on. I am not sure this qualifies as "nicespeak" but if you pay attention you will hear this type of messaging everywhere. As we hear it we seem to just nod along and miss the fundamental irony of it.
- floren 4y ago"Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed. Did you know you can check your account balance, order checks, apply for a loan, or get a new debit card online? Visit w w w dot your bank name dot com forward slash banking for more information." ---> Please hang up before we actually have to make somebody pick up the phone "Due to the ongoing pandemic, for the safety of guests and staff we will not make up your room unless requested" ---> Thank god, we can cut our cleaning staff "Due to the ongoing drought conditions, water will only be served for customers who request it" ---> We wash half as many glasses this way COVID in general was a great excuse for a lot of companies to do something they've wanted to do for years (reduce business hours, cancel contracts, cut staff, reduce stock on hand, etc.) while acting like they're doing the world a favor.
- booleandilemma 4y agoI love these. Another one I've seen recently is large Manhattan office buildings asking people to use revolving doors "to help save the environment". (i.e. help us save on electricity costs for heating and A/C)
- function_seven 4y agoI saw this on the doors of my local shopping mall: MALL HOURS ========== For your convenience, The Galleria's operating hours are available online Followed by a huge QR code. Um, no. It's really inconvenient to have to grab a phone, scan a code, wait for the slow site to load, give apologies to others who want to walk in the door, etc. Oh, and let's say I get there before they open. Before I could just drive by and see the hours on the door. Now I have to stop, get out, scan the code, ... It's a small gripe for sure, but those are my favorite types.
- floren 4y agoOh of course that reminds me of the explosion of QR code menus we saw during the pandemic! A laminated code, the lamination bubbling up, covered in peeling tape, damn near impossible to scan depending on the lighting conditions. Much better than a sheet of paper!
- _ea1k 4y agoAnd this directs you to a PDF that was designed for print. :(
- ectopod 4y agoOr a menu developed with react that takes a full minute to load.
- freedomben 4y agoand loads tracking/analytics from 100 different places, and sends an XHR every time you move the mouse.
- omginternets 4y agoI have toyed with the idea of carrying a sharpie with me, and adding ironic graffiti to such messages. This article might just push me over the edge.
- yamtaddle 4y agoI like how self-checkouts or ordering kiosks are framed as automation, but are actually just making your customers do work your paid workers used to do. There's no automation involved, just a shift in who does the work.
- mannykannot 4y agoMaybe the 'y' was a typo.
- kwhitefoot 4y ago
- tomwheeler 4y agoTicketmaster: "We've switched to app-based digital tickets for a safe, contactless experience" -------> The pandemic provides the cover we need to corner the resale market and collect the personal data of every customer.
- floren 4y agoHow about the bald absurdity of tacking on a "convenience fee" for purchasing things online instead of in person? The theater near me will add a couple bucks if you buy tickets online, but that fee is not present if you buy in person at the theater! There's never more than one person behind the counter, so I have no doubt they're saving money by leaving registers unstaffed, yet they still have the gall to charge us extra for using the online reservation system--they want to have their cake and eat it too! Of course, complaining about the ethics and pricing practices of theaters and the entertainment industry in general is like shooting fish in a (very expensive) barrel.
- kurikuri 4y agoI always wondered if this cut into what could potentially be made as a profit by the company producing the movie. If a $10 matinee ticket has a defined percentage split between movie theaters and producers, then a $3 convenience fee for an online purchase might go only to the theater, allowing them to take in a higher effective percentage.
- LAC-Tech 4y agoI always thought there must be big money to be made as a call volume forecaster, given how many major companies are stumped when its "unexpectedly high".
- NoboruWataya 4y agoA few years ago I got a letter from my bank which said something along the lines of "At [bank], we understand that your banking needs evolve over time. That's why from [date], we will be moving you from a graduate account to a regular account". The graduate account and the regular count are exactly the same except that the regular account has extra fees. Apparently over the years I had evolved a need to pay fees. Good thing my bank were looking out for me.
- ThinkingGuy 4y agoWhen you receive a letter from a bank that starts out with "Here at [Big Bank] we value your privacy," you can assume that the rest of the letter is a just a detailed account of all the ways that they plan to violate it.