3 ms·

> When I got called by someone with a question that was answerable by my team, I chewed them out. Yikes. A trivial work issue is something someone might use an

by aliqot 4y ago

> When I got called by someone with a question that was answerable by my team, I chewed them out. Yikes. A trivial work issue is something someone might use an excuse to check on you and make sure your wife is okay and that you're alright.

ilc 4y ago
https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407-story.html https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-... Understanding the above article is very important. Instinctively, we want to help. But figuring out how to, without "dumping in" is critical. If you are worried about a person in the situation like the one I was in, figure out the right way to help them. If they say don't call. Honor that. As for "chewing out" my wording was strong there for what I did. Though I'd support someone chewing out someone there. I pointed out that my team could make choice X without me, and that I'd left clear directions on who could do what. I referred them back to that person, and reaffirmed my teams choices, which either good enough or the exact choices I would have made. Yes, the person was doing what you suggested. But that's not a good thing to do. If they want to help me, not interrupting me is important, I'd also left my personal e-mail... so an e-mail was much more appropriate, and would have been received better. Also it gives me time and space to think. Which are precious in moments like that. I may not know how you can help me today.... but I may tomorrow.
badcppdev 4y ago
You should never try and hide that fact that you care. My approach would be a text message saying something along the lines of: Hi X. Hope things are going ok. Tell us if we can do anything. Alter for cultural differences, closeness of relationship, situations where things are not going to be ok.

3 ms·

> When I got called by someone with a question that was answerable by my team, I chewed them out. Yikes. A trivial work issue is something someone might use an

by aliqot 4y ago

ilc 4y ago
https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407-story.html https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-... Understanding the above article is very important. Instinctively, we want to help. But figuring out how to, without "dumping in" is critical. If you are worried about a person in the situation like the one I was in, figure out the right way to help them. If they say don't call. Honor that. As for "chewing out" my wording was strong there for what I did. Though I'd support someone chewing out someone there. I pointed out that my team could make choice X without me, and that I'd left clear directions on who could do what. I referred them back to that person, and reaffirmed my teams choices, which either good enough or the exact choices I would have made. Yes, the person was doing what you suggested. But that's not a good thing to do. If they want to help me, not interrupting me is important, I'd also left my personal e-mail... so an e-mail was much more appropriate, and would have been received better. Also it gives me time and space to think. Which are precious in moments like that. I may not know how you can help me today.... but I may tomorrow.
badcppdev 4y ago
You should never try and hide that fact that you care. My approach would be a text message saying something along the lines of: Hi X. Hope things are going ok. Tell us if we can do anything. Alter for cultural differences, closeness of relationship, situations where things are not going to be ok.