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It seems to me that you are trying to solve too many problems at once and becoming understandably overwhelmed as a result. It’s silly, but when I start feeling

It seems to me that you are trying to solve too many problems at once and becoming understandably overwhelmed as a result. It’s silly, but when I start feeling this way, I think of the song “The Next Right Thing” from Frozen II. Yes, the Disney movie … I admitted it was silly! But there is wisdom in identifying the first problem that you need to solve and solving it before moving on to a second (or third, or fourth) problem. So, in your case, the first problem to solve might be to get enough income coming in to provide housing for yourself. Forget about everything else and just solve that one problem. Things are not as bad as they seem. You sound like a smart and caring person who will figure this out. Take a breath and get focused on one thing. Regardless of what happens, you can be an asset to your kids regardless of whether you ever give them another dime. I miss my dad every day, and it has been decades since he provided any financial support to me. Best of luck to you.

giantg2 4y ago
Gonna be hard to provide for yourself if you're thrown in jail for contempt for not paying.
- BadCookie 4y ago
  I can imagine someone going to jail for willfully not paying child support when they have income available. If OP gets a job, any job, and gives as much money for his kids as he can afford … I really doubt jail time will be the consequence. But IANAL, and this is not legal advice.
  - giantg2 4y ago
    OP said he already asked the judge to amend the order and the judge said he needs to pay up or he'll be found to be in contempt. Based on what I've seen via a in-law, they will throw you in jail if you don't have a job and can't pay. It seems the courts feel like any reduction in income or loss of a job must be intentional and most of them leave the payments the same and say "tough shit, get a job". I guess men aren't allowed to struggle emotionally with the stress of divorce nor are they allowed to be unsuccessful. That in-law basically gave up because you can't get a decent job with a record and there's no way to pay all the back support even if you found a shitty job. And that debt doesn't go away when the child is 18 - it follows you for life.

giantg2 4y ago

Gonna be hard to provide for yourself if you're thrown in jail for contempt for not paying.

BadCookie 4y ago
I can imagine someone going to jail for willfully not paying child support when they have income available. If OP gets a job, any job, and gives as much money for his kids as he can afford … I really doubt jail time will be the consequence. But IANAL, and this is not legal advice.
- giantg2 4y ago
  OP said he already asked the judge to amend the order and the judge said he needs to pay up or he'll be found to be in contempt. Based on what I've seen via a in-law, they will throw you in jail if you don't have a job and can't pay. It seems the courts feel like any reduction in income or loss of a job must be intentional and most of them leave the payments the same and say "tough shit, get a job". I guess men aren't allowed to struggle emotionally with the stress of divorce nor are they allowed to be unsuccessful. That in-law basically gave up because you can't get a decent job with a record and there's no way to pay all the back support even if you found a shitty job. And that debt doesn't go away when the child is 18 - it follows you for life.