Oof. I'm so sorry to hear that. The sounds you discovered on your own were the start of your own personal vocabulary. That's you following your ear and followin

Oof. I'm so sorry to hear that. The sounds you discovered on your own were the start of your own personal vocabulary. That's you following your ear and following the pleasure of the sound itself. That's the most important part. The technique is important, but it's often for nothing if it's not in support of a distinct musical voice.