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It is when there's a demand for toxic niceness. Not every situation requires fluffy words.

• saagarjha 4y ago
  When making a request it is traditional to recognize that you are asking a favor, however small, of someone else, and using a "please" can help signal that you are aware of this. Or, if you have an aversion to the p-word, just phrasing it as an appeal, e.g. "Can someone add [2014] to the title?", can help distinguish your ask from an order. I fail to see any toxicity in this phrasing. Of course, I changed the title regardless, so it's not like it "really mattered"; I wouldn't have replied to this conversation if someone didn't start this thread. I certainly don't intend to demand anything from anyone. But kindness is generally free or very cheap, so I find it to be smarter to err on the side of being nice. And that's on top of whatever moral framework or whatever you may have that guides you to be considerate, hold doors open for other people, whatever, that you do to make the world a better place.