4 ms·

First off, I would caution anyone about doing positive affirmations, or even forced journaling exercises (e.g. gratitude journaling). These exercises are incong

First off, I would caution anyone about doing positive affirmations, or even forced journaling exercises (e.g. gratitude journaling). These exercises are incongruent with how one see's oneself; people who are already grateful or have health self-esteem don't need to do these exercises, and those don't have them and are trying to force it on themselves only see it as a lie (subconsciously). You can't really lie to yourself and will it into existence, and it usually only serves to point out the gap between where you feel you are (e.g. low self-esteem, bad, etc) and where you want to be. That's a hard way to start. A better place to start is to understand how your undesired behaviors ("bad habits") are serving a purpose for you, and then through that awareness build a substitute habit or coping strategy. For example, you don't have a "video game addiction"; you have a coping strategy that worked well to buffet you against the pangs of failure as you struggled in high school. The reason failure hurt so much is that your parents only conditionally showed affection toward you based on your academic success, so you never learned how to unconditionally love yourself. As an adult with a job and a family, this coping strategy is maladaptive, but is the "best" way you subconsciously feel you can deal with the feelings that continue to well up. Two books are How We Change [0] and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents [1], although I'd recommend the former book much more to start with. Side note: if you're picking books to read, make sure to avoid books with a big photo of the author on the cover. That's almost a sure sign of a useless personal growth book. [0] https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-ellenhorn https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-el... [1] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23129659-adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23129659-adult-children-...

tailspin2019 4y ago
I respectfully but wholeheartedly disagree with your “caution” against gratitude journaling. Saying that people who are already grateful don’t need to do this is like saying that people who are already fit don’t need to exercise. People who aren’t fit can do exercise to get fitter, people who are already fit can do exercise to maintain that fitness. I think the same goes for being grateful and practicing gratitude.
- _huayra_ 4y ago
  Perhaps we have different anecdata, but I think gratitude journaling may work better indeed for people who aren't truly depressed. In my own case and the few coworkers I unfortunately recommended gratitude journaling to (who were, like me, quite depressed), it was basically a wrote exercise, in one ear and out the other. Forced journaling just becomes a chore like any other, and it is one in which people spend time "in their head", which is exactly the opposite of what people with depression need to do. In my case (and in the cases of the aforementioned coworkers), a much more useful activity is to participate in some low-key social activity where people see and accept you. It is so much easier to "bask" in the very minute friendship affection shown by others than to try to think and affirm one's way out of depression by merely writing stuff down in a journal. Anything from rock climbing to amateur basketball to even stand up comedy (one extremely brave depressed friend of mine did this, not me! still scary...), one can take part in letting other people help regulate one's emotions; attempting to DIY this via affirmations and journaling for someone with chronic depression is not a fruitful endeavor.

tailspin2019 4y ago

I respectfully but wholeheartedly disagree with your “caution” against gratitude journaling. Saying that people who are already grateful don’t need to do this is like saying that people who are already fit don’t need to exercise. People who aren’t fit can do exercise to get fitter, people who are already fit can do exercise to maintain that fitness. I think the same goes for being grateful and practicing gratitude.

_huayra_ 4y ago
Perhaps we have different anecdata, but I think gratitude journaling may work better indeed for people who aren't truly depressed. In my own case and the few coworkers I unfortunately recommended gratitude journaling to (who were, like me, quite depressed), it was basically a wrote exercise, in one ear and out the other. Forced journaling just becomes a chore like any other, and it is one in which people spend time "in their head", which is exactly the opposite of what people with depression need to do. In my case (and in the cases of the aforementioned coworkers), a much more useful activity is to participate in some low-key social activity where people see and accept you. It is so much easier to "bask" in the very minute friendship affection shown by others than to try to think and affirm one's way out of depression by merely writing stuff down in a journal. Anything from rock climbing to amateur basketball to even stand up comedy (one extremely brave depressed friend of mine did this, not me! still scary...), one can take part in letting other people help regulate one's emotions; attempting to DIY this via affirmations and journaling for someone with chronic depression is not a fruitful endeavor.