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Even worse than this, sometimes I find myself changing my mind internally but feeling compelled to defend my initial opinion, as if being convinced is having lo
by lumb63 4y ago
Even worse than this, sometimes I find myself changing my mind internally but feeling compelled to defend my initial opinion, as if being convinced is having lost. That’s definitely detrimental to a conversation.
- jackmott 4y agoAt least you are aware it is happening! That is a huge first step, the last bit should only require you to harden up a bit.
- catach 4y agoKnowing of that inclination, there's three complementary principles that I try to follow: 1. Leaving room for your debate partner to save face is about as important as crafting a convincing argument. 2. Become comfortable with the condition of your debate partner never explicitly conceding the argument. 3. Explicitly conceding points that you agree with helps the other person save face to do the same back.
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- _dain_ 4y agoYes. This can happen when the person you're talking to is in the right but is being arrogant/obnoxious/smug about it. Publicly agreeing would be rewarding rudeness. I don't think that's even such a bad thing; they might only be right once, but they'll probably be rude forever, so why ever give them the satisfaction? Effective arguing doesn't have to look like "arguing". You have to leave people an off-ramp so they can change their minds without feeling like they are losing a status contest.
- TheOtherHobbes 4y agoMost people are emotional, not rational. Even people who are supposed to be rational are rarely unemotional about their beliefs. It's why facts and evidence are so unpersuasive. If you don't make them emotionally and personally relatable most of the population won't understand what you're trying to say. Which is why the rule is "People won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how you made them feel."