6 ms·

So if I'm a 26 year old female freelancer, how long until I become a full fledged (male) consultant? ;)

by sequoia 15y ago

chc 15y ago
About five years. We don't like to talk about it.
postfuturist 15y ago
Since you are communicating via email and there is no reason to share your actual age or sex, right away.
j45 15y ago
I think you'd do better as a female consultant, women are our superiors in every way. :) - Raised by a woman to not be a mommas boy.
- chc 15y ago
  I know you mean to be kind here, but putting women on a pedestal is just as much a form of sexism as declaring them beneath you. They're just people. Treat them accordingly. (I don't mean to imply any ill will on your part. I just thought you should know.)
  - j45 15y ago
    Haha, I see what you're saying. I didn't mean to put anyone on a pedestal, patronize or be kind out of charity. It's the best lesson I've learnt. I spent 10 years of my life complaining about women and consequently found nothing but women to complain about. As soon as I realized I complained because I cared I met the one of my dreams. She's my heart, my compass, and the sunshine keeping me where I need and want to be... even when my mighty intellect forgets to breath, feel, love, and live for a living. So now, I compliment freely from my heart. The most important things in my life haven't been understood because of my mind, but with my heart and gut. Hope that clarifies, didn't mean to offend anyone, only live in gratitude a bit more. It's the new year ;)
    - jtheory 15y ago
      It's great that you & your wife have a happy relationship, and it's also not a problem if she's more likely to be the heart/compass/sunshine and you the mighty intellect that forgets to breathe, on balance. Though be careful, I suppose, to not assume you'll always be in these categories, or want to be in them, or not be obliged to operate outside of them. But the main thing to watch out for is projecting that out onto "women" as a whole. It's perhaps obvious that some women are not naturally warm, or good at female-stereotypical skills, and may even be far more socially-inept-egghead than you are. And hence not exactly happy to hear "no, stay a woman (in spite of the well-known earnings gap) because we so value your feminine skills" or anything remotely resembling that. I hope this helps a bit... I'm still figuring stuff out myself, of course, and expect to be for the rest of my life. True for everyone, I imagine, though many folks stop trying at some point.
      - j45 15y ago
        It's interesting to see how my words can be interpreted. In the interest of avoiding interpretations of interpretations: Love: I don't believe in being fanatically dependant or fanatically independent. Both leave you alone and without yourself. I do, more and more appreciate the middle ground of interdependance, which in turn helps us build up the things we need to get better at. About love "lasting": Loved and lost several times. Death, cheating, and more. Glad to have the sobering reminder and well wish, though. ;) Love, though, is one of those few things that must be understood with the heart, not the mind. Most pain occurs when we try to understand something using our mind when we should be using our heart, or vice versa. Relationships: Where I've seen others succeed, a solid relationship of any kind (love, friendship, business, family) is about relating. To ones self, each other. We can only relate as deeply as we can connect. We can only deeply connect to others as deeply as we can connect to ourselves. Developing this connection is key. Developing communication, caring and most importantly learning to ask "What else could this mean?" and assume the best, instead of the worst brings people together. The #1 barrier in the way to our own happiness and fulfillment are the barriers we need to remove within ourselves. Instead of being the cynical bastard I enjoyed being for many years, I found it worthwhile and more fulfilling to keep kindness and giving fashionable. It's not a curse that I'm wishing on women, or my fellow beings on this earth. Approach: Through it, while I am a worst case strategist, I don't dwell in worry. Worrying/Doubt is paying interest on money I'll never borrow. Resentment is taking poison myself and waiting for someone else to die. Too much doubt isn't healthy. Neither is too much hope. It's good to be aware of what might be possible, worst and best case, but not to use it as an excuse to not try. To me, it's about becoming a well rounded individual. What I learn with someone, from someone, I forever get to keep. The shortcomings in myself I get to bridge, are my rewards I get to keep. The same goes for when others randomly get something from something we say or do. Some of the best relationships are ones that are mutually, and indirectly committed to the growth of another. My better halves: When we, automatically assume the worst (doubt) about someone, or something, we divide. About "female-stereotypical skills", I have no clue what you're talking about. I simply said women are men's superior in every way. How free thinking open-mindedness might choose to interpret that and stick it into a box of stereotypes is not tied to what I said or implied in anyway. With social awkwardness, in the thousands of folks I've met in business, volunteering and life, there's far more males than females who suffer from this. Wishing someone to be open, warm, kind, giving is not a curse or a judgement, or a stereotype. It's just becoming, and being a well-rounded individual. On the whole, females learn much more the social side of being human from the playground onwards. Women are far more socially, emotionally aware than men, regardless of their disposition. When you've been in the trenches with both genders, you realize women truly have some gifts of intellect, emotion, and more, where they are far easier able to grasp and live by than most guys. What's the saying, a guy will figure it out weeks later? :)

So if I'm a 26 year old female freelancer, how long until I become a full fledged (male) consultant? ;)

by sequoia 15y ago

So if I'm a 26 year old female freelancer, how long until I become a full fledged (male) consultant? ;)

chc 15y ago

About five years. We don't like to talk about it.

postfuturist 15y ago

Since you are communicating via email and there is no reason to share your actual age or sex, right away.

j45 15y ago

I think you'd do better as a female consultant, women are our superiors in every way. :) - Raised by a woman to not be a mommas boy.

chc 15y ago
I know you mean to be kind here, but putting women on a pedestal is just as much a form of sexism as declaring them beneath you. They're just people. Treat them accordingly. (I don't mean to imply any ill will on your part. I just thought you should know.)
- j45 15y ago
  Haha, I see what you're saying. I didn't mean to put anyone on a pedestal, patronize or be kind out of charity. It's the best lesson I've learnt. I spent 10 years of my life complaining about women and consequently found nothing but women to complain about. As soon as I realized I complained because I cared I met the one of my dreams. She's my heart, my compass, and the sunshine keeping me where I need and want to be... even when my mighty intellect forgets to breath, feel, love, and live for a living. So now, I compliment freely from my heart. The most important things in my life haven't been understood because of my mind, but with my heart and gut. Hope that clarifies, didn't mean to offend anyone, only live in gratitude a bit more. It's the new year ;)
  - jtheory 15y ago
    It's great that you & your wife have a happy relationship, and it's also not a problem if she's more likely to be the heart/compass/sunshine and you the mighty intellect that forgets to breathe, on balance. Though be careful, I suppose, to not assume you'll always be in these categories, or want to be in them, or not be obliged to operate outside of them. But the main thing to watch out for is projecting that out onto "women" as a whole. It's perhaps obvious that some women are not naturally warm, or good at female-stereotypical skills, and may even be far more socially-inept-egghead than you are. And hence not exactly happy to hear "no, stay a woman (in spite of the well-known earnings gap) because we so value your feminine skills" or anything remotely resembling that. I hope this helps a bit... I'm still figuring stuff out myself, of course, and expect to be for the rest of my life. True for everyone, I imagine, though many folks stop trying at some point.
    - j45 15y ago
      It's interesting to see how my words can be interpreted. In the interest of avoiding interpretations of interpretations: Love: I don't believe in being fanatically dependant or fanatically independent. Both leave you alone and without yourself. I do, more and more appreciate the middle ground of interdependance, which in turn helps us build up the things we need to get better at. About love "lasting": Loved and lost several times. Death, cheating, and more. Glad to have the sobering reminder and well wish, though. ;) Love, though, is one of those few things that must be understood with the heart, not the mind. Most pain occurs when we try to understand something using our mind when we should be using our heart, or vice versa. Relationships: Where I've seen others succeed, a solid relationship of any kind (love, friendship, business, family) is about relating. To ones self, each other. We can only relate as deeply as we can connect. We can only deeply connect to others as deeply as we can connect to ourselves. Developing this connection is key. Developing communication, caring and most importantly learning to ask "What else could this mean?" and assume the best, instead of the worst brings people together. The #1 barrier in the way to our own happiness and fulfillment are the barriers we need to remove within ourselves. Instead of being the cynical bastard I enjoyed being for many years, I found it worthwhile and more fulfilling to keep kindness and giving fashionable. It's not a curse that I'm wishing on women, or my fellow beings on this earth. Approach: Through it, while I am a worst case strategist, I don't dwell in worry. Worrying/Doubt is paying interest on money I'll never borrow. Resentment is taking poison myself and waiting for someone else to die. Too much doubt isn't healthy. Neither is too much hope. It's good to be aware of what might be possible, worst and best case, but not to use it as an excuse to not try. To me, it's about becoming a well rounded individual. What I learn with someone, from someone, I forever get to keep. The shortcomings in myself I get to bridge, are my rewards I get to keep. The same goes for when others randomly get something from something we say or do. Some of the best relationships are ones that are mutually, and indirectly committed to the growth of another. My better halves: When we, automatically assume the worst (doubt) about someone, or something, we divide. About "female-stereotypical skills", I have no clue what you're talking about. I simply said women are men's superior in every way. How free thinking open-mindedness might choose to interpret that and stick it into a box of stereotypes is not tied to what I said or implied in anyway. With social awkwardness, in the thousands of folks I've met in business, volunteering and life, there's far more males than females who suffer from this. Wishing someone to be open, warm, kind, giving is not a curse or a judgement, or a stereotype. It's just becoming, and being a well-rounded individual. On the whole, females learn much more the social side of being human from the playground onwards. Women are far more socially, emotionally aware than men, regardless of their disposition. When you've been in the trenches with both genders, you realize women truly have some gifts of intellect, emotion, and more, where they are far easier able to grasp and live by than most guys. What's the saying, a guy will figure it out weeks later? :)