I took more paternity leave than my wife took maternity. I got SO much fucking flak for it from family/friends/co-workers. Especially the older crowd (45+).

I took more paternity leave than my wife took maternity. I got SO much fucking flak for it from family/friends/co-workers. Especially the older crowd (45+). The deal on paper is often not the deal you're expected to take. Opting out of a career in favor of childcare is considered a privilege reserved for woman in many circles. I'd happily be a full time stay at home dad - but I make 3x what my wife does because I went into software and she works for a non-profit. So currently we balance both full time jobs and pay for daycare. But that starts to make less sense if we have kiddo number 2 or 3 - because then daycare costs begin to eclipse her salary. The problem is that 5 to 8 years from now - all the kids can attend public school, and we'll likely both want to work full time at that point regardless of what we do now, but the person taking the gap will likely end up making less (they will be 5 to 8 years less senior & experienced).