OP is not projecting, they they are observing. I have observed they exact same thing in numerous couples that I am close friends with, and with people at work -

OP is not projecting, they they are observing. I have observed they exact same thing in numerous couples that I am close friends with, and with people at work - they tell me they are miserable with their partner but don’t want to start over. Or they have kids and think need to stay in a loveless marriage for the kids. You can observe the fights, and the weight gain, and the general unhappiness and lack-of-joy in people that remain in these unhealthy relationships. They are innumerable.