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Many young women feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet the unrealistic expectations society has of them to be successful, beautiful and nurturing.

by twayt 4y ago

Many young women feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet the unrealistic expectations society has of them to be successful, beautiful and nurturing. Many young men feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet society’s expectations success, attractiveness and fatherhood. Society has always had winners and losers, the global nature of things makes people more aware of higher standards and the threat to their security that lies out there in the real world. No more local echo chambers. Adding fuel to the fire, it’s easy to lie about how smart, happy and successful you are online, reap the status benefits of it and not get caught. Thus the wheel turns further and faster. Adolescence and young adulthood is a fragile part of life when you don’t know what you’re capable of yet and have to constantly prove your genetic worth. This is why the young are far more affected than adults who have a realistic sense of what their abilities are and proof that they can survive. The only solution I see to this is to show the young the importance of sticking to principles, how to suspend disbelief and embrace optimism, how to really take care of your biology and offer them multiple avenues of support they feel comfortable taking advantage of. The ones who make it through to adulthood with courage will change the world for the better. This I’m sure of

tmn 4y ago
This resonates with me
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
mancerayder 4y ago
What you said is all true. The part that is controversial to me about what you said is that these expectations didn't exist even moreso in times past. My reading of the past, certainly the modern past where we have literature of the time, TV shows of the era, advertising and so on, is that roles-based expectations were even MORE extreme decades and centuries ago. As I write this I begin to think, maybe one problem is the opposite: the lack of strict guidance and those guardrails have lead to more existential angst. Who am I, what am I to do, is more salient in these times perhaps.
- twayt 4y ago
  Rigid expectations may have been more prevalent but they most certainly were also more attainable because the competitive group was smaller. Rigid expectations might actually be better for humans. Having multiple potential paths and failing at all of them due to unconcentrated effort is worse
  - granshaw 4y ago
    If there is one thing I’m ever more sure of as I get older, is that too much choice really is bad most of the time. And it doesn’t take much to count as “too much” here either. Along with this, ignorance really IS bliss.
shagie 4y ago
There is an article I keep pointing to for this - Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-... It has the premise that... Boomers had a "work hard and you'll get there eventually" combined with a period of economic growth resulting in better reality than the expectations. Gen Y (and gen Z) aspire to that growth (note that the economics haven't been there) and have been told that they are special and to "pursue your dreams". Consider the "fulfilling career" vs "secure career" ideals for the young adults of the past decade. This results in the idea that you'll make $150k as a software developer out of college or that you'll be able to find a job as an itinerant marine biologist studying whales in tropical locations. Those expectations falter when they hit reality. The rise of the influencer and idealized life has contributed to the perception that everyone else is doing great (meanwhile that person isn't) and the "I'm not an itinerant marine biologist while my friends are posting about their destination weddings... their perfect kids and their spouse's perfect job." And you've got a rather disappointing situation to be in that can negatively impact mental health.
Slava_Propanei 4y ago
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by twayt 4y ago

tmn 4y ago

This resonates with me

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

mancerayder 4y ago

What you said is all true. The part that is controversial to me about what you said is that these expectations didn't exist even moreso in times past. My reading of the past, certainly the modern past where we have literature of the time, TV shows of the era, advertising and so on, is that roles-based expectations were even MORE extreme decades and centuries ago. As I write this I begin to think, maybe one problem is the opposite: the lack of strict guidance and those guardrails have lead to more existential angst. Who am I, what am I to do, is more salient in these times perhaps.

twayt 4y ago
Rigid expectations may have been more prevalent but they most certainly were also more attainable because the competitive group was smaller. Rigid expectations might actually be better for humans. Having multiple potential paths and failing at all of them due to unconcentrated effort is worse
- granshaw 4y ago
  If there is one thing I’m ever more sure of as I get older, is that too much choice really is bad most of the time. And it doesn’t take much to count as “too much” here either. Along with this, ignorance really IS bliss.

shagie 4y ago

There is an article I keep pointing to for this - Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-... It has the premise that... Boomers had a "work hard and you'll get there eventually" combined with a period of economic growth resulting in better reality than the expectations. Gen Y (and gen Z) aspire to that growth (note that the economics haven't been there) and have been told that they are special and to "pursue your dreams". Consider the "fulfilling career" vs "secure career" ideals for the young adults of the past decade. This results in the idea that you'll make $150k as a software developer out of college or that you'll be able to find a job as an itinerant marine biologist studying whales in tropical locations. Those expectations falter when they hit reality. The rise of the influencer and idealized life has contributed to the perception that everyone else is doing great (meanwhile that person isn't) and the "I'm not an itinerant marine biologist while my friends are posting about their destination weddings... their perfect kids and their spouse's perfect job." And you've got a rather disappointing situation to be in that can negatively impact mental health.

Slava_Propanei 4y ago

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