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What we were trying to do was help the parents to teach the kids to self-soothe. So in effect, we weren't saying that they wouldn't wake. We were saying that th
by loteck 4y ago
What we were trying to do was help the parents to teach the kids to self-soothe. So in effect, we weren't saying that they wouldn't wake. We were saying that they would wake, but they wouldn't have to signal their parents. They could go back down into the next sleep cycle.
The conversations around sleep training are always rife with folks focusing on their own perceived risks, and the emotional guilt, that come with making trade-off decisions. While we over-focus on the noisy crying, we miss focusing on the skill building part of sleep training: training kids and parents the skill of soothing themselves in the absence of the other. Skill building with kids can sometimes be super hard on both kids and parents; welcome to Parenting.
- kqr 4y agoThis is one thing I learned only in my third year as a parent. If I tell an adult "I'm worried you'll break that when you poke it so hard" I expect them to either argue to the contrary or stop poking it so hard. For my children, they don't register what I've said until a few days (and attempts) later. It's virtually impossible to teach them something in the moment, it all falls into place later. Super frustrating and super fascinating.
- The_Colonel 4y agoI think this applies to the adults as well. I've noticed that it takes me some time to change my opinion (on something non-trivial). The first instinct is to maintain your old position.
- TeMPOraL 4y agoYes! It's something I also realized around when our older daughter turned three. It's as if her higher-level reasoning had 3-4 days of lag.
- europeanguy 4y agoI think there's actually a saying about this. Something like how people don't learn when they're told something, they have to experience it themselves.