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>Babies cry for a reason (to get their needs met). Yep. Including, "I woke up and I don't yet know how to put myself back to sleep," which is where "sleep trai

>Babies cry for a reason (to get their needs met). Yep. Including, "I woke up and I don't yet know how to put myself back to sleep," which is where "sleep training" helps. I, too, would be curious as someone else asked, if you have children.

voisin 4y ago
But do they cry more or less if they are sleep trained vs co-sleeping? Varies I am sure, but in our case at least our children slept soundly whenever not nursing while co-sleeping but for our ill-fated attempt at sleep training just cried and cried and cried (a mistake we tried only with our eldest). To each their own - I say do whatever works!
Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago
Or co-sleeping, where they don't cry before or after
- themaninthedark 4y ago
  I have two boys 9 and 3. Oldest co-slept with us until his brother was born so until 6yo, even now sometimes he wants to come back to our bed. The youngest we put in the same room as our oldest after about a year, he rarely wants to sleep with us. When they were co-sleeping with us, they would still wake up and cry at night from things other then hunger. Including, I rolled over into my parent and it surprised me so I woke up and now I can't sleep. In the case of my oldest, he started getting to the point where he would only fall asleep if my wife was next to him with her arm under his head like a pillow. It had to be her arm, we once switched so my arm was under his head and he could tell, got upset about it XD. That is when we decided he needed to start sleeping on his own...which took some time. It is also why we choose to have the youngest move out quicker, we didn't want to have the same protracted experience. Now they will sleep together at the oldest insistence, about a third of the time though the youngest will take too long to fall asleep and they end up fighting and the youngest will go off to sleep on his own. I don't think any of us in this conversation have any good data on what is best, and those of us that are parents have way to much bias and way too small sample size to discuss this with any degree of confidence. My personal option is that either way is not going to make much of a difference and you should do what ever works best for you and your family. Edit: Added a paragraph(#4)
  - Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago
    I think you are right and I'm just angry at the behavior toward co-sleeping. In the end, every family should do what fits them. My request is to stop blaming co-sleeping and accept it as a valuable option, same value as sleep training.
    - themaninthedark 4y ago
      I understand, it is frustrating seeing people blame and reject things are useful just because they are not used tho them or are foreign to their culture. Part of the reason we co-slept is because my wife was breastfeeding and it would have been unfair for her to have to get up, leave the room to take care of the baby. Also, I am good at adapting and quickly learnt to sleep through hunger cries...so probably for the best we were not doing the swap schedule.
      - Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago
        Makes sense. I forgot about the problem with breastfeeding, since initially we were all in the same room and there was zero sleep, so it didn't matter much. By the time breastfeeding would have been annoying (for waking up), we were already co-sleeping. Our first 2 weeks were really, really bad, with the first week being at 2 hours in total (that is 2 hours of sleep for 168 hours), after a month and a half she started sleeping with us. The second one just slept with us from the beginning since knew all the tricks of it and worked really well the first time
spookthesunset 4y ago
When we sleep trained our kids, this was exactly our interpretation as well. You are literally training them how to sleep on their own. Yes they will be uncomfortable for a little while and yes they will cry because it is a new situation but it's truly for their own good. You are giving your kid the gift of being able to know how to sleep and fall back asleep. You can do such training without being a cruel hard ass about it either. You know your kid best and know their limits and when you should go into their room to comfort them... but you have to know why you are doing it--you are teaching them how to sleep. The only way they can learn that is by themselves (at least at an early age). Sleep training our daughter was one of the best decisions we made early on. But every kid and every parent is different. There is no one single way to raise a kid...
- russdill 4y ago
  Incidentally, potty training can also involve a lot of crying, tantrums, etc. I would say I don't see the uproar of parents claiming it's child abuse, but the numbers of children past 36 mo that are not potty trained is pretty shocking.

voisin 4y ago

But do they cry more or less if they are sleep trained vs co-sleeping? Varies I am sure, but in our case at least our children slept soundly whenever not nursing while co-sleeping but for our ill-fated attempt at sleep training just cried and cried and cried (a mistake we tried only with our eldest). To each their own - I say do whatever works!

Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago

Or co-sleeping, where they don't cry before or after

themaninthedark 4y ago
I have two boys 9 and 3. Oldest co-slept with us until his brother was born so until 6yo, even now sometimes he wants to come back to our bed. The youngest we put in the same room as our oldest after about a year, he rarely wants to sleep with us. When they were co-sleeping with us, they would still wake up and cry at night from things other then hunger. Including, I rolled over into my parent and it surprised me so I woke up and now I can't sleep. In the case of my oldest, he started getting to the point where he would only fall asleep if my wife was next to him with her arm under his head like a pillow. It had to be her arm, we once switched so my arm was under his head and he could tell, got upset about it XD. That is when we decided he needed to start sleeping on his own...which took some time. It is also why we choose to have the youngest move out quicker, we didn't want to have the same protracted experience. Now they will sleep together at the oldest insistence, about a third of the time though the youngest will take too long to fall asleep and they end up fighting and the youngest will go off to sleep on his own. I don't think any of us in this conversation have any good data on what is best, and those of us that are parents have way to much bias and way too small sample size to discuss this with any degree of confidence. My personal option is that either way is not going to make much of a difference and you should do what ever works best for you and your family. Edit: Added a paragraph(#4)
- Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago
  I think you are right and I'm just angry at the behavior toward co-sleeping. In the end, every family should do what fits them. My request is to stop blaming co-sleeping and accept it as a valuable option, same value as sleep training.
  - themaninthedark 4y ago
    I understand, it is frustrating seeing people blame and reject things are useful just because they are not used tho them or are foreign to their culture. Part of the reason we co-slept is because my wife was breastfeeding and it would have been unfair for her to have to get up, leave the room to take care of the baby. Also, I am good at adapting and quickly learnt to sleep through hunger cries...so probably for the best we were not doing the swap schedule.
    - Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago
      Makes sense. I forgot about the problem with breastfeeding, since initially we were all in the same room and there was zero sleep, so it didn't matter much. By the time breastfeeding would have been annoying (for waking up), we were already co-sleeping. Our first 2 weeks were really, really bad, with the first week being at 2 hours in total (that is 2 hours of sleep for 168 hours), after a month and a half she started sleeping with us. The second one just slept with us from the beginning since knew all the tricks of it and worked really well the first time

spookthesunset 4y ago

When we sleep trained our kids, this was exactly our interpretation as well. You are literally training them how to sleep on their own. Yes they will be uncomfortable for a little while and yes they will cry because it is a new situation but it's truly for their own good. You are giving your kid the gift of being able to know how to sleep and fall back asleep. You can do such training without being a cruel hard ass about it either. You know your kid best and know their limits and when you should go into their room to comfort them... but you have to know why you are doing it--you are teaching them how to sleep. The only way they can learn that is by themselves (at least at an early age). Sleep training our daughter was one of the best decisions we made early on. But every kid and every parent is different. There is no one single way to raise a kid...

russdill 4y ago
Incidentally, potty training can also involve a lot of crying, tantrums, etc. I would say I don't see the uproar of parents claiming it's child abuse, but the numbers of children past 36 mo that are not potty trained is pretty shocking.