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I guess age plays a big part? In my teens I was very insecure and awkward, too. Now in my late 30s: whatever, I don't care. But then last summer I noticed my ha

I guess age plays a big part? In my teens I was very insecure and awkward, too. Now in my late 30s: whatever, I don't care. But then last summer I noticed my hair is thinning and I'll probably be bald or balding in n years, and I was surprised how much this worries me :-/

Mezzie 4y ago
Age and how it relates to life experience. I imagine the teen awkwardness will persist for a long time (although I'm unsure, some of the girls [plus some of the middle/high school teachers I've fit] specifically talk about the reactions of boys around them and our idea of acceptable male adolescent behavior is changing rapidly). I was talking with my coworker about this today actually: Gen X women are in an uncomfortable position of being raised in an era of mass media and unattainable ideals without the ability to talk to one another openly and anonymously that Millennials/Gen Z/Alpha have. For example, Gen X women are (generally) way more concerned about the fat squeezing out of their bra bands than Millennial or Zoomer women even though they all have it. Likewise, most of the 'oh I can't be X size because it's 'vulgar'/'I have to minimize'/'I have to be a certain shape' comes from Gen X and older. There are very clear social messages which have changed with generation that are fascinating to watch. This is even more pronounced in the language/approach our male customers have. The older crossdressers or trans women are way different than our younger ones. Boomers and older genuinely aren't dealing well with their aging when it comes to things like mobility, medical conditions, etc. For example, front closure bras are really useful for older women who have lost shoulder/arm mobility but there are physics trade-offs that have to be made. Likewise, a lot of them can't stand the pressure that's needed for a good fitting wired bra as their muscles/bones/etc. are less resilient so they need wirefree options but can't accept that it means they will not get the shape they're used to. I just want to grab them by their fragile boned shoulders and shake them. You're 75! It's okay! Nobody cares if you don't have the breast shape under clothes of a 22 year old! I hope this does get better as we age. Watching older women hate themselves is so sad.
- ShredKazoo 4y ago
  >our idea of acceptable male adolescent behavior is changing rapidly How?
  - Mezzie 4y ago
    I'm 34 and just in my lifetime it's become way less acceptable for men to comment on women's bodies and in schools there's been a complete flip from 'don't dress like that, you'll distract the boys' to the focus being on that the boys shouldn't care and should still behave. (To an extreme, I think. Expecting adult men to have that level of self-control is fine, but a 12 year old boy is kind of new to 'everything make peepee hard' so maybe cut them a little slack.) Essentially, existing as an obvious female is no longer seen as an acceptable reason to sexualize them. I'm sure the boys will still do it because part of being an adolescent is doing what adults tell you not to, but the girls might get less horrified by their breasts if the adults around them view comments on them poorly/support them.

Mezzie 4y ago

Age and how it relates to life experience. I imagine the teen awkwardness will persist for a long time (although I'm unsure, some of the girls [plus some of the middle/high school teachers I've fit] specifically talk about the reactions of boys around them and our idea of acceptable male adolescent behavior is changing rapidly). I was talking with my coworker about this today actually: Gen X women are in an uncomfortable position of being raised in an era of mass media and unattainable ideals without the ability to talk to one another openly and anonymously that Millennials/Gen Z/Alpha have. For example, Gen X women are (generally) way more concerned about the fat squeezing out of their bra bands than Millennial or Zoomer women even though they all have it. Likewise, most of the 'oh I can't be X size because it's 'vulgar'/'I have to minimize'/'I have to be a certain shape' comes from Gen X and older. There are very clear social messages which have changed with generation that are fascinating to watch. This is even more pronounced in the language/approach our male customers have. The older crossdressers or trans women are way different than our younger ones. Boomers and older genuinely aren't dealing well with their aging when it comes to things like mobility, medical conditions, etc. For example, front closure bras are really useful for older women who have lost shoulder/arm mobility but there are physics trade-offs that have to be made. Likewise, a lot of them can't stand the pressure that's needed for a good fitting wired bra as their muscles/bones/etc. are less resilient so they need wirefree options but can't accept that it means they will not get the shape they're used to. I just want to grab them by their fragile boned shoulders and shake them. You're 75! It's okay! Nobody cares if you don't have the breast shape under clothes of a 22 year old! I hope this does get better as we age. Watching older women hate themselves is so sad.

ShredKazoo 4y ago
>our idea of acceptable male adolescent behavior is changing rapidly How?
- Mezzie 4y ago
  I'm 34 and just in my lifetime it's become way less acceptable for men to comment on women's bodies and in schools there's been a complete flip from 'don't dress like that, you'll distract the boys' to the focus being on that the boys shouldn't care and should still behave. (To an extreme, I think. Expecting adult men to have that level of self-control is fine, but a 12 year old boy is kind of new to 'everything make peepee hard' so maybe cut them a little slack.) Essentially, existing as an obvious female is no longer seen as an acceptable reason to sexualize them. I'm sure the boys will still do it because part of being an adolescent is doing what adults tell you not to, but the girls might get less horrified by their breasts if the adults around them view comments on them poorly/support them.