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I apologise for being a lil off topic but I do have a question for you. Before I ask that question, let me tell you a story. When I was growing up, I knew this
by kinkora 15y ago
I apologise for being a lil off topic but I do have a question for you. Before I ask that question, let me tell you a story.
When I was growing up, I knew this girl who works part time at a cinema. Her job is basically to clean up the place after everyone has left once the movie has ended. While cleaning up the place, 7 out of 10 times, she will find something someone has left behind and out of that 7 times, probably 2 items will be valuable (wallet, mobile phones, jewellery, etc). Instead of returning it to their respective owners, she ALWAYS pocket anything that is valuable with the excuse of finders keepers.
When I found out about what she does, I had a moral dilemma. I knew she probably did it because she (to make a long story short), had a very unfortunate and underprivileged life so she just found a quick and easy (albeit illegal) way to supplement her pay. Yet at the same time, I knew what she was doing was wrong and I contemplated telling the authorities about her but couldn't bring myself to do it because she trusted me enough (i've always helped her in dire times) to tell me about it.
Now, here is my question. Do you ever feel that you should report your friend knowing he is breaking the law? Do you find yourself in a moral dilemma knowing that you know a person committing a crime but you have not (i assumed) turn him in?
- m0nastic 15y agoSo, where I grew up, everybody was a criminal. I don't mean that hyperbolically either. Everyone in my family (mostly bottom-of-the-barrel criminals, but a few actual bad-ass criminals), every other kid who lived in my neighborhood. All criminals. My older brother ran away from home when he was 15, partially to get away from all of that. I stayed until I was 17, but left for much the same reason. If I felt obliged to report everyone in my history who has broken the law (or made it a habit of breaking the law), I would have quite possibly spent thousands of dollars on phone calls to the police. I removed myself from the moral dilemma by going far away from all of that and not going back. I've been a boring nerd for the past twelve years.
- sounds 15y agoSadly, such a situation is not unique. Kudos for being open about it. Kudos as well for being able, and having the balls to make the exit. I'm speaking from a background of gangs, where there is no exit. Except a coffin.
- dennisgorelik 15y agoWhat could possibly keep gang member in the gang aside of greed? Why not just move to another side of the country and start a new life?
- shadowfiend 15y agoSafety, for one. As for moving, family and lack of a link to anywhere else. Starting a new life isn't as easy as you seem to think it is. Nor, for that matter, is moving. Particularly if you don't necessarily have any good marketable skills.
- dennisgorelik 15y agoI would guess that former gang member should be able to flip burgers, mop the floor and collect trash from the streets. That's a good start. Yes, that might not pay as much as criminal activity, but that's definitely enough to survive. As for safety - why is it not safe to quit a gang? Why would remaining gang members care about former gang member who disappeared in unknown direction and does not cause any trouble?
- asdkl234890 15y agoI would guess that former gang member should be able to flip burgers, mop the floor and collect trash from the streets. And with the pay from that he could afford to live where? No place better than where he came from!
- dennisgorelik 15y agoNew place does not have to be better. It could be even worse. That could be part of the price of quitting criminal activity. The point of moving to new place is to eliminate all the ties with old life and gang members. But I guess even that is not necessary. I'm not expert on quitting gangs, but would assume that most gangs would not really force gang member on staying in the gang against the will of quitting gang member. If gang member is lacking determination - he might be useless of even dangerous as an active member of the gang. So the most practical approach should be mutual thinking: "good riddance".
- jmilloy 15y agoIf you have kept up with this particular friend so that you know his current situation, then you have not removed yourself from the moral dilemma. Glad you got out, and there may be other reasons not to turn someone in, but this is a bad excuse.
- m0nastic 15y agoI should be clear, I haven't seen any of these people in many many years. The situation I've explained was how things were set up when I last had any contact with Colin. I haven't heard anything since, so I assume things are progressing more or less the same.
- dennisgorelik 15y agoMay be not exactly the same. Colin might be in jail by now. Or quit his criminal business. Or "pivoted" it to legitimate car repair business. GPS tracking devices are much cheaper. There are much more surveillance cameras than 10 years ago. That could significantly reduce car hijacking business.
- kinkora 15y agoGood to know you got yourself out of the situation. Funnily enough, I did exactly that too; I left it as it is and eventually moved on from where I grew up and lost contact with my friend. Still, I've always felt a tingle of guilt every time someone looses something valuable at the cinema. It always reminded me that if everyone runs away from a problem, nobody will solve the issue. Being slightly older (and maybe wiser) now, what I should have done is try to find a way to convince her to stop stealing. Anyway, thanks for your reply!