Time for me to post an excerpt from a... love letter I wrote at some point. (Yeah, I'm probably a weird person.) -------- "Discovery is the privilege of the

Time for me to post an excerpt from a... love letter I wrote at some point. (Yeah, I'm probably a weird person.) -------- "Discovery is the privilege of the child: the child who has no fear of being once again wrong, of looking like an idiot, of not being serious, of not doing things like everyone else." This quote, from a great mathematician who made large strides in his field [Alexander Grothendieck], was brought to me by the man who serves as a kind of mathematical mentor to me. Let's take a look at it. It's true that if one is fearful of being wrong, of looking like an idiot, etc., then one will spend mental energy on worrying about avoiding these things (and possibly change one's behavior too), and this obviously interferes with thinking about and working to understand the problem at hand. Conversely, to the extent that one is free of such fears, one's mind is free to make discoveries. Now, not all children are fearless, and not all adults are deeply concerned with how others see them. But there's a correlation, and it's easy to see why: Children are born curious, and they're not born afraid of... losing others' respect. That's something you have to learn to be afraid of. Furthermore, to the extent that an adult is absorbed in his topic of study, is excited about the things he's doing, and is unconscious of whether he looks silly or makes embarrassing mistakes in front of others, we might say that he seems childlike. There are other things that can interfere with discovery. If a child has unreliable access to food, shelter, clothes, etc., he will have to divert his energies away from learning about whatever he was learning about, and toward addressing those needs. We can say in general that if a child's access to any particular thing that he wants or needs is uncertain, then he will worry about it, and this will distract him from discovery. It's clear that this is true just by the phrasing. (In this case, I'd distinguish a "want" from a "need" like this: if he doesn't get it for a while, and he stops worrying about it, then it's a want; if he doesn't stop worrying about it, then it's a need.) And again, conversely, if we want to help the child grow and learn and become strong, then the way to do this is to provide solidly for the child's needs so he isn't distracted and can focus on growing. And here we see another reason the quote talks about children: adults, usually parents and relatives, provide food and shelter and do laundry and so forth for kids, while they usually don't do that for adults. But adults aren't necessarily doomed. An adult might have a steady income and a routine for dealing with all the basic needs, and this might leave him with time to forget all his worries and focus and learn like a child. This seems like a good thing to aim for, as a prospective adult. I'd hate to stop growing, or at least to be slowed down a lot, just because I've become an adult. All this is generally applicable to one's life. But there's one need in particular that I'd like to address. Love. I think children, and adults too, have a strong need to feel loved; what it means to be loved is probably somewhat different for every person, but some common things include tending to one's other needs, giving physical affection, displaying trust in various ways (such as accepting physical affection, sharing secrets, and accepting one's help in performing an important task), and promising to do these things (of course, the promise must be believed, which means it must be kept). We can apply what I said earlier: If one's access to love is uncertain, then one will worry about it, and it will interfere with growing. Conversely, if we wish to help someone grow, then giving them unconditional love is a powerful way to do it. I think I can offer you my unconditional love[....]