Conceptually, I agree with you. I've put a lot of effort over the years into being able to control and stop rumination, which has been a huge boon. However, not

Conceptually, I agree with you. I've put a lot of effort over the years into being able to control and stop rumination, which has been a huge boon. However, nothing I've tried has changed this fundamental inability to imagine any future that isn't more of the same that I've already experienced (as in painful and disappointing). I think without making enough positive experiences to convince my brain to change how it processes/interprets events, that's something that can't change. The question then becomes, how do I make positive experiences? If I make what I think is a positive experience, I end up worrying about parts of it and wondering about its negative aspects. That's also something I have to work on and change. It's a cycle, it's slow and iterative, and I feel like I'm making progress, however little, but I am how I am right now, and I'm okay with that.