Even rPIs don't pass your "mainline" criteria, Raspbian ships with patched kernel and I remember just few months ago having to use it just so stuff like camera

Even rPIs don't pass your "mainline" criteria, Raspbian ships with patched kernel and I remember just few months ago having to use it just so stuff like camera works, while on mainline the video stream was giving me, uh, random pieces of working memory... And Device Tree makes me miss ISA bus and setting jumpers to right IRQ...