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I don't really get how you move on from something. Is this something you decide? Something that happens? Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting t

by Zababa 4y ago

I don't really get how you move on from something. Is this something you decide? Something that happens? Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting to? Whenever people talk about moving on, I feel as if they were talking about using their third arm, that I just don't have.

grepLeigh 4y ago
Check out rumination-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, ideally with guidance and support from a therapist. I used to hear "just let it go" and think I was being asked to do something impossible! Using a third arm is a great way of putting it. Turns out the self-regulation needed to "move on" is just a developmental skill. Like any skill, it can be practiced and improved over time. Hope you find this encouraging!
- Zababa 4y ago
  Thanks, it helps a lot to know that it's a skill that you can develop!
Sakos 4y ago
+1 for what grepLeigh has said. CBT is a huge help. > Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting to? Absolutely, yes. If I catch myself in a death spiral of thoughts, I can literally tell myself "no, that's enough, I'm done with this" and do something else instead. It takes introspection, acceptance, understanding, compassion (for yourself and the subjects of your thoughts), therapy, and practice. Meditation can also help. There's no single piece of advice I can give because it was a lengthy and painful process, but maybe it's enough to say that yes, it's possible to learn, because it's something I had to learn and I managed to figure it out.
- Zababa 4y ago
  Knowing that someone else managed to learn it and can now just stop spirals of thoughts is a big help, thanks for sharing that
  - darkerside 4y ago
    Noticing it is the first step. Believing you can change it is the second. It sounds so cheesy to say, but I really wish they would teach mindfulness in schools. It's such an important life skill, and it's one I had to realize on my own was important.

by Zababa 4y ago

grepLeigh 4y ago

Check out rumination-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, ideally with guidance and support from a therapist. I used to hear "just let it go" and think I was being asked to do something impossible! Using a third arm is a great way of putting it. Turns out the self-regulation needed to "move on" is just a developmental skill. Like any skill, it can be practiced and improved over time. Hope you find this encouraging!

Zababa 4y ago
Thanks, it helps a lot to know that it's a skill that you can develop!

Sakos 4y ago

+1 for what grepLeigh has said. CBT is a huge help. > Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting to? Absolutely, yes. If I catch myself in a death spiral of thoughts, I can literally tell myself "no, that's enough, I'm done with this" and do something else instead. It takes introspection, acceptance, understanding, compassion (for yourself and the subjects of your thoughts), therapy, and practice. Meditation can also help. There's no single piece of advice I can give because it was a lengthy and painful process, but maybe it's enough to say that yes, it's possible to learn, because it's something I had to learn and I managed to figure it out.

Zababa 4y ago
Knowing that someone else managed to learn it and can now just stop spirals of thoughts is a big help, thanks for sharing that
- darkerside 4y ago
  Noticing it is the first step. Believing you can change it is the second. It sounds so cheesy to say, but I really wish they would teach mindfulness in schools. It's such an important life skill, and it's one I had to realize on my own was important.