I understand where you are coming from! But I relish the time off - now that I've come to terms with the fact that nothing will actually get 'done' and most of

I understand where you are coming from! But I relish the time off - now that I've come to terms with the fact that nothing will actually get 'done' and most of the time will be 'working' as child care. Pre kids I was always building stuff, gardening, a little DIY and loads of drinking and eating out. Now free time is either being pretty "unproductive" with the kids entertaining themselves but still needing watching, or doing the stuff they want to do. It doesn't last long - and whether you do it or someone else does the kids will need someone to play with them and look after them - focus on supporting them to develop while remembering that you actually have near zero control over how they turn out. And honestly, a 2nd child can massively lighten the load if they get on (or make things twice as hard if they don't...)