4 ms·

At least for me, this can also have a negative effect. Thinking about the future sometimes makes me very anxious about things changing for the worse, for exampl

At least for me, this can also have a negative effect. Thinking about the future sometimes makes me very anxious about things changing for the worse, for example parents dying or myself becoming sick. Those thoughts do not make me more “prosocial” as they sometimes contribute to depression, facing inward, and having a sense of a lack of control and pointlessness. This feeling was pronounced during 2020 in particular, but I’ve been doing better in 2022.

PaulRobinson 4y ago
You might benefit from talking to somebody professional about this, but I'm also going to suggest an app that might at first make you feel quite anxious but I promise with use might make you deal with these thoughts more comfortably: https://www.wecroak.com/ https://www.wecroak.com/ It's self explanatory. I've used it every day for a few years now. It makes me feel far more centred, far less anxious, far more able to deal with the swells and dips of daily life. It has also made me face those fears about parents or myself becoming sick as an inevitability that can have a beauty to it. Ignoring it won't make it go away or any better, just all the more painful when it railroads into your life. Wish you well my friend, good luck with whatever you do, but if this approach feels overwhelming, definitely consider having a chat with somebody about it.
Balladeer 4y ago
The book "Stolen Focus" had an interesting point on this effect that resonated with me. While mind wandering -- letting your mind explore the past and future -- can be a gift and creative boon, it can only do so in a low-stress environment. People often rate "mind wandering" as one of the least pleasant daily activities, even below chores, because, mind-wandering in a high stress environment leads to rumination, and "ruminating on negative emotions becomes torment."
Sakos 4y ago
As somebody who's often suffered from depression, I try not to think about the future or the past. The past makes me sad and is filled with pain. The future feels like an ominous and oppressive und uncertain presence.
- swayvil 4y ago
  I relate. A good project is your best friend Call it "escapism", except without the feeling of worthlessness that comes with drowning yourself in fiction.
- jwilk 4y ago
  "Und" made it sound even more ominous und more uncertain.
  - Sakos 4y ago
    Hah, didn't realize I'd snuck that in there.
- darkerside 4y ago
  It seems like the healthiest behavior would be to allow yourself to think about the future/past, constrain yourself to be kind to yourself while doing it, and critically, _move on_ and think about something else next. Where rumination gets dangerous, in my experience, is when it becomes an infinite mental loop.
  - Sakos 4y ago
    Conceptually, I agree with you. I've put a lot of effort over the years into being able to control and stop rumination, which has been a huge boon. However, nothing I've tried has changed this fundamental inability to imagine any future that isn't more of the same that I've already experienced (as in painful and disappointing). I think without making enough positive experiences to convince my brain to change how it processes/interprets events, that's something that can't change. The question then becomes, how do I make positive experiences? If I make what I think is a positive experience, I end up worrying about parts of it and wondering about its negative aspects. That's also something I have to work on and change. It's a cycle, it's slow and iterative, and I feel like I'm making progress, however little, but I am how I am right now, and I'm okay with that.
  - Zababa 4y ago
    I don't really get how you move on from something. Is this something you decide? Something that happens? Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting to? Whenever people talk about moving on, I feel as if they were talking about using their third arm, that I just don't have.
slothtrop 4y ago
Thinking of the future in and of itself is not responsible for those reactions. Habitually agonizing about negative possibilities is a problem that remains whether you make predictions or not, and should be addressed. CBT or 3rd wave CBT like MCT are good options

PaulRobinson 4y ago

You might benefit from talking to somebody professional about this, but I'm also going to suggest an app that might at first make you feel quite anxious but I promise with use might make you deal with these thoughts more comfortably: https://www.wecroak.com/ https://www.wecroak.com/ It's self explanatory. I've used it every day for a few years now. It makes me feel far more centred, far less anxious, far more able to deal with the swells and dips of daily life. It has also made me face those fears about parents or myself becoming sick as an inevitability that can have a beauty to it. Ignoring it won't make it go away or any better, just all the more painful when it railroads into your life. Wish you well my friend, good luck with whatever you do, but if this approach feels overwhelming, definitely consider having a chat with somebody about it.

Balladeer 4y ago

The book "Stolen Focus" had an interesting point on this effect that resonated with me. While mind wandering -- letting your mind explore the past and future -- can be a gift and creative boon, it can only do so in a low-stress environment. People often rate "mind wandering" as one of the least pleasant daily activities, even below chores, because, mind-wandering in a high stress environment leads to rumination, and "ruminating on negative emotions becomes torment."

Sakos 4y ago

As somebody who's often suffered from depression, I try not to think about the future or the past. The past makes me sad and is filled with pain. The future feels like an ominous and oppressive und uncertain presence.

swayvil 4y ago
I relate. A good project is your best friend Call it "escapism", except without the feeling of worthlessness that comes with drowning yourself in fiction.
jwilk 4y ago
"Und" made it sound even more ominous und more uncertain.
- Sakos 4y ago
  Hah, didn't realize I'd snuck that in there.
darkerside 4y ago
It seems like the healthiest behavior would be to allow yourself to think about the future/past, constrain yourself to be kind to yourself while doing it, and critically, _move on_ and think about something else next. Where rumination gets dangerous, in my experience, is when it becomes an infinite mental loop.
- Sakos 4y ago
  Conceptually, I agree with you. I've put a lot of effort over the years into being able to control and stop rumination, which has been a huge boon. However, nothing I've tried has changed this fundamental inability to imagine any future that isn't more of the same that I've already experienced (as in painful and disappointing). I think without making enough positive experiences to convince my brain to change how it processes/interprets events, that's something that can't change. The question then becomes, how do I make positive experiences? If I make what I think is a positive experience, I end up worrying about parts of it and wondering about its negative aspects. That's also something I have to work on and change. It's a cycle, it's slow and iterative, and I feel like I'm making progress, however little, but I am how I am right now, and I'm okay with that.
- Zababa 4y ago
  I don't really get how you move on from something. Is this something you decide? Something that happens? Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting to? Whenever people talk about moving on, I feel as if they were talking about using their third arm, that I just don't have.

slothtrop 4y ago

Thinking of the future in and of itself is not responsible for those reactions. Habitually agonizing about negative possibilities is a problem that remains whether you make predictions or not, and should be addressed. CBT or 3rd wave CBT like MCT are good options