What does "having it together" actually mean? It sounds like the parents, quite understandably, develop common traits specific to the circumstances they share

What does "having it together" actually mean? It sounds like the parents, quite understandably, develop common traits specific to the circumstances they share (that is, "raising human offspring"). To conflate those role-specific adaptations with any innate or generalised "superiority" or "special class" in any wider sense would be a mistake, I think. We're all relative experts in the specific roles of our individual lives, and the very complex journeys they take us on. As a parent we can only truly compare ourselves to our own past self. That is not the same thing as comparing ourselves to other people, who are on quite different, but similarly complex journeys. It's important to recognise the difference.