4 ms·
This means almost nothing to me. The rates are not terribly different. Perhaps couples that meet through friends and family feel more pressure to stay together
by drooby 4y ago
This means almost nothing to me.
The rates are not terribly different. Perhaps couples that meet through friends and family feel more pressure to stay together due to social pressure of said friends and family - but are actually in an unhappy marriage.
> But after overcoming the first few rocky years that many marriages experience, the way couples initially met doesn't make much of a difference — at the workplace, online, at a bar or through family all have divorce rates hovering around 20%.
And this perhaps bolsters my first point.. perhaps it’s a good thing that the marriages end faster.
- klyrs 4y agoSpeaking personally, my relationships have lasted longer when a friendship evolves into more, than when I've jumped headlong into a relationship with a stranger I met online.
- Broken_Hippo 4y agoOn the other hand... I met my spouse online. We lived in different countries, so it was a while before we met. That was at least 13 or 14 years ago now. The bigger difference between us and "online dating" was that we met playing a game - doing a shared activity. Everyone, online or not, is a stranger at some point.
- toxik 4y agoJust because online couples statistically are more likely to separate, doesn’t mean you will. It’s just statistics.
- teeray 4y agoAny tips on navigating that? I’m always worried because I value the friendship so much and don’t want to ruin it… but if feelings develop they’re pretty undeniable. It’s high stakes when you don’t know if the feelings are reciprocated.
- klyrs 4y agoI have no advice for you, internet stranger, because every situation is different. In my experience, feelings that are reciprocated will make themselves known -- but I have always been sensitive to the emotions of others. Over the years, I've noticed when several pairs of friends were clearly smitten but aren't aware, and I've given them the nudge they needed. I've discretely asked a trusted friend of a friend and been told to not bother. I've declared my adoration and ruined a friendship -- which changed my cost/benefit analysis and now I find it easier to get over an unrequited crush. But I've also broached the topic and not blown up the relationship. You can't control how a person will react, but the better you know them, the better you can predict it.
- jzb 4y ago“Perhaps couples that meet through friends and family feel more pressure to stay together” My first thought. When your support networks/social networks are intertwined there’s a big disincentive to split up, knowing it’s going to have a big and possibly damaging impact well beyond just splitting with a partner. Also - bringing your families and friends together may add more friction if you wouldn’t have met offline.