2 ms·

I mean rude in the child sense, honestly. Kids can be seen as neuro divergent, sure. But even "typical" ones are often surprisingly rude. Very few people jus

by taeric 4y ago

I mean rude in the child sense, honestly. Kids can be seen as neuro divergent, sure. But even "typical" ones are often surprisingly rude. Very few people just "know" how to be polite.

lazide 4y ago
Ok, but what would you expect it to look like otherwise, if they could not actually learn those things because their brain was not wired to be able to? They still are going to grow up, but unlike normal folks, they can’t learn those skills - or if they do, it takes vastly more effort.
- taeric 4y ago
  Me claim is more to be taken that you should work from the assumption it is hard for everyone. Setting yourself apart as someone that is "just bad" at it is going to reinforce that idea. Can it be true? Of course. Some folks are also just bad at math.
  - nicoburns 4y ago
    If it was hard for everyone it wouldn't be such a problem, as presumably people would be more tolerant of others getting it "wrong". As it is, it seems that there's a large cadre of people who not only find it easy, but find the "correct" behaviours so self-evident that they tend to assume that people who don't notice these things (or whose natural preferences are different from the unwritten social norm) are being wilfully offensive.
    - taeric 4y ago
      It is a learned skill. And many norms are not as shared as folks assume they are. As such, I think you are understating how willing folks are to tolerate people getting it "wrong." I say this as someone that would almost certainly be described as neuro divergent. Fake it till you make it is the norm for social interactions. That and repetition. Is akin to thinking everyone else is a good dancer. I mean, the more practiced dancers will be better, at large. There are relatively fewer folks that can't dance, compared to those that don't dance.
      - lazide 4y ago
        You seem to be assuming they did not try because they assumed they had an incurable problem. Why not assume that they did try (and still are), and after failing over and over when others did not, realized they have a problem and are being open about it? You seem to be denying the problem actually can exist, and blame them for not trying - when you don’t seem to know if they are trying or not. It’s quite odd.
        taeric 4y ago
        I can be wary of things that I know exist. To the point that I'll argue you seem to be taking my point to an obviously false position. I'm wary of most labeling of this as normal versus otherwise in people. That is it. It presumes a lot of unfairness that, while it does happen, is often overstated, as well.

by taeric 4y ago

I mean rude in the child sense, honestly. Kids can be seen as neuro divergent, sure. But even "typical" ones are often surprisingly rude. Very few people just "know" how to be polite.

lazide 4y ago

Ok, but what would you expect it to look like otherwise, if they could not actually learn those things because their brain was not wired to be able to? They still are going to grow up, but unlike normal folks, they can’t learn those skills - or if they do, it takes vastly more effort.

taeric 4y ago
Me claim is more to be taken that you should work from the assumption it is hard for everyone. Setting yourself apart as someone that is "just bad" at it is going to reinforce that idea. Can it be true? Of course. Some folks are also just bad at math.
- nicoburns 4y ago
  If it was hard for everyone it wouldn't be such a problem, as presumably people would be more tolerant of others getting it "wrong". As it is, it seems that there's a large cadre of people who not only find it easy, but find the "correct" behaviours so self-evident that they tend to assume that people who don't notice these things (or whose natural preferences are different from the unwritten social norm) are being wilfully offensive.
  - taeric 4y ago
    It is a learned skill. And many norms are not as shared as folks assume they are. As such, I think you are understating how willing folks are to tolerate people getting it "wrong." I say this as someone that would almost certainly be described as neuro divergent. Fake it till you make it is the norm for social interactions. That and repetition. Is akin to thinking everyone else is a good dancer. I mean, the more practiced dancers will be better, at large. There are relatively fewer folks that can't dance, compared to those that don't dance.
    - lazide 4y ago
      You seem to be assuming they did not try because they assumed they had an incurable problem. Why not assume that they did try (and still are), and after failing over and over when others did not, realized they have a problem and are being open about it? You seem to be denying the problem actually can exist, and blame them for not trying - when you don’t seem to know if they are trying or not. It’s quite odd.
      - taeric 4y ago
        I can be wary of things that I know exist. To the point that I'll argue you seem to be taking my point to an obviously false position. I'm wary of most labeling of this as normal versus otherwise in people. That is it. It presumes a lot of unfairness that, while it does happen, is often overstated, as well.