4 ms·

>victimhood mentality Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Whenever I read something like that I do not feel motivated but enraged. Somet

>victimhood mentality Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Whenever I read something like that I do not feel motivated but enraged. Sometimes people are really victims. Mainly of chance.

gwbas1c 4y ago
> Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Yes, there is a lot of research in this area: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_mindset https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_minds... I interpret is as being able to ask yourself "what did I learn" when you fail; and realizing that most success comes from trying over and over. ("Most" because some people are lucky and succeed the first time.) In general, people who adopt the growth mindset, (see the link,) are more successful.
- Nowado 4y ago
  Do you mean the research paper that's linked first in the part you linked (on praising children, measuring motivation of those children, not any results in tests not to even mention effect (or lack of it) long term on life) or the author that's mentioned there (with a large 'Criticism' section in their page that comes down to 'doesn't replicate' - and even that detail aside, this 'research', too, was about school performance with no clear ecological relevancy to the topic at hand)? I did see the link. Nothing about success, tiny bit about school performance. Have you seen the link?
dinkumthinkum 4y ago
I don’t think it’s tough love per se. I think it’s just true that many people let a victim mentality get in there way. Not derail the thread but I think it is more problematic now as victimhood is lionized today. It can be very helpful yo show people that letting go of this is a way yo change your circumstance. It doesn’t mean the person is not a victim of something or yo downplay it but it is a recognition of how to actual affect change in one’s life. I do actually some people take this advice abs internalize it and get on a more successful path because of it.
- joshwolff 4y ago
  They're free to let go. That's fine. Not a big deal. Good for them for trying. It's the entire presentation of their dilemma that prompted by comment. Did you even read their post? "I tried everything [I was supposed to]" "But no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get anywhere." "It was as if the world was against me" "no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any progress" "It was like I didn't even exist in the world of entrepreneurship." "please don't be fooled by the false promises" Blaming everyone but themselves. They sound very entitled and they claim that they deserve it. Sorry. That's not how you win and that's not how any of this works.
joshwolff 4y ago
"Whenever I read something like that I do not feel motivated but enraged. Sometimes people are really victims. Mainly of chance." Did I make a generalization? I am specifically talking about the OP. This person is not a victim of chance, obviously. They tried hard [hopefully] and it didn't work, and then blamed everyone else. What did they try to do? Get rich via a startup. No one on the planet is entitled to millions of dollars. Very likely they can get a job for $100k+ - better than most Americans. Yet even then - they blamed everyone else. You don't win by blaming others. If you can't admit your own faults, you're doomed as a startup founder. It doesn't matter if this was chance or not, but I assure you this circumstance had nothing to do with luck.

gwbas1c 4y ago

> Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Yes, there is a lot of research in this area: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_mindset https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_minds... I interpret is as being able to ask yourself "what did I learn" when you fail; and realizing that most success comes from trying over and over. ("Most" because some people are lucky and succeed the first time.) In general, people who adopt the growth mindset, (see the link,) are more successful.

Nowado 4y ago
Do you mean the research paper that's linked first in the part you linked (on praising children, measuring motivation of those children, not any results in tests not to even mention effect (or lack of it) long term on life) or the author that's mentioned there (with a large 'Criticism' section in their page that comes down to 'doesn't replicate' - and even that detail aside, this 'research', too, was about school performance with no clear ecological relevancy to the topic at hand)? I did see the link. Nothing about success, tiny bit about school performance. Have you seen the link?

dinkumthinkum 4y ago

I don’t think it’s tough love per se. I think it’s just true that many people let a victim mentality get in there way. Not derail the thread but I think it is more problematic now as victimhood is lionized today. It can be very helpful yo show people that letting go of this is a way yo change your circumstance. It doesn’t mean the person is not a victim of something or yo downplay it but it is a recognition of how to actual affect change in one’s life. I do actually some people take this advice abs internalize it and get on a more successful path because of it.

joshwolff 4y ago
They're free to let go. That's fine. Not a big deal. Good for them for trying. It's the entire presentation of their dilemma that prompted by comment. Did you even read their post? "I tried everything [I was supposed to]" "But no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get anywhere." "It was as if the world was against me" "no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any progress" "It was like I didn't even exist in the world of entrepreneurship." "please don't be fooled by the false promises" Blaming everyone but themselves. They sound very entitled and they claim that they deserve it. Sorry. That's not how you win and that's not how any of this works.

joshwolff 4y ago

"Whenever I read something like that I do not feel motivated but enraged. Sometimes people are really victims. Mainly of chance." Did I make a generalization? I am specifically talking about the OP. This person is not a victim of chance, obviously. They tried hard [hopefully] and it didn't work, and then blamed everyone else. What did they try to do? Get rich via a startup. No one on the planet is entitled to millions of dollars. Very likely they can get a job for $100k+ - better than most Americans. Yet even then - they blamed everyone else. You don't win by blaming others. If you can't admit your own faults, you're doomed as a startup founder. It doesn't matter if this was chance or not, but I assure you this circumstance had nothing to do with luck.