4 ms·

Hate to say it, but you sound like you're victimizing yourself. You're not a victim. And victimhood mentality likely played a large role in your failure. Try to

Hate to say it, but you sound like you're victimizing yourself. You're not a victim. And victimhood mentality likely played a large role in your failure. Try to change your mindset and try again when you feel you're ready.

nowherebeen 4y ago
OP needs to accept responsibility for his choices. Blaming it on other people for his choices doesn’t seem right.
KaiserPro 4y ago
I don't thinks this reply is helpful. Its basically saying "its your fault you failed, moreover you are going to fail again because of your attitude" turning this question around to you: have you ever managed to "change your mindset"? assuming you have changed your mindset, did it materially change your circumstances? Because if you're still in a hole, "being mindful" isn't going to affect that.
- blix 4y ago
  > have you ever managed to "change your mindset"? did it materially change your circumstances? Not GP, but yes and yes. Personal growth is indeed possible!
- joshwolff 4y ago
  Do you even know how to read? Did I say "being mindful"? The entitled OP claims they deserve millions of dollars (via a successful startup) - all they had to do was try. They then blamed everyone else for their failure except themselves. You will NEVER succeed in a startup if you cannot accept fault and be a leader. Actually, my reply is the ONLY reply they need. They don't need to be babied. Reread their post: "I tried everything [I was supposed to]" "But no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get anywhere." "It was as if the world was against me" "no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any progress" "It was like I didn't even exist in the world of entrepreneurship." "please don't be fooled by the false promises"
  - joshwolff 4y ago
    (2/2) All of the advice in the other comments do NOT matter at all if the OP cannot look in the mirror and self-reflect on what THEY did wrong --- NOT what others did wrong. This is fundamental. They clearly don't do this currently. Before doing this, nothing else matters, none of the other advice will work, and they CERTAINLY will fail again if they do not fix this first.
annyeonghada 4y ago
>victimhood mentality Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Whenever I read something like that I do not feel motivated but enraged. Sometimes people are really victims. Mainly of chance.
- gwbas1c 4y ago
  > Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Yes, there is a lot of research in this area: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_mindset https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_minds... I interpret is as being able to ask yourself "what did I learn" when you fail; and realizing that most success comes from trying over and over. ("Most" because some people are lucky and succeed the first time.) In general, people who adopt the growth mindset, (see the link,) are more successful.
  - Nowado 4y ago
    Do you mean the research paper that's linked first in the part you linked (on praising children, measuring motivation of those children, not any results in tests not to even mention effect (or lack of it) long term on life) or the author that's mentioned there (with a large 'Criticism' section in their page that comes down to 'doesn't replicate' - and even that detail aside, this 'research', too, was about school performance with no clear ecological relevancy to the topic at hand)? I did see the link. Nothing about success, tiny bit about school performance. Have you seen the link?
- dinkumthinkum 4y ago
  I don’t think it’s tough love per se. I think it’s just true that many people let a victim mentality get in there way. Not derail the thread but I think it is more problematic now as victimhood is lionized today. It can be very helpful yo show people that letting go of this is a way yo change your circumstance. It doesn’t mean the person is not a victim of something or yo downplay it but it is a recognition of how to actual affect change in one’s life. I do actually some people take this advice abs internalize it and get on a more successful path because of it.

nowherebeen 4y ago

OP needs to accept responsibility for his choices. Blaming it on other people for his choices doesn’t seem right.

KaiserPro 4y ago

I don't thinks this reply is helpful. Its basically saying "its your fault you failed, moreover you are going to fail again because of your attitude" turning this question around to you: have you ever managed to "change your mindset"? assuming you have changed your mindset, did it materially change your circumstances? Because if you're still in a hole, "being mindful" isn't going to affect that.

blix 4y ago
> have you ever managed to "change your mindset"? did it materially change your circumstances? Not GP, but yes and yes. Personal growth is indeed possible!
joshwolff 4y ago
Do you even know how to read? Did I say "being mindful"? The entitled OP claims they deserve millions of dollars (via a successful startup) - all they had to do was try. They then blamed everyone else for their failure except themselves. You will NEVER succeed in a startup if you cannot accept fault and be a leader. Actually, my reply is the ONLY reply they need. They don't need to be babied. Reread their post: "I tried everything [I was supposed to]" "But no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get anywhere." "It was as if the world was against me" "no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any progress" "It was like I didn't even exist in the world of entrepreneurship." "please don't be fooled by the false promises"
- joshwolff 4y ago
  (2/2) All of the advice in the other comments do NOT matter at all if the OP cannot look in the mirror and self-reflect on what THEY did wrong --- NOT what others did wrong. This is fundamental. They clearly don't do this currently. Before doing this, nothing else matters, none of the other advice will work, and they CERTAINLY will fail again if they do not fix this first.

annyeonghada 4y ago

>victimhood mentality Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Whenever I read something like that I do not feel motivated but enraged. Sometimes people are really victims. Mainly of chance.

gwbas1c 4y ago
> Does this kind of pseudo-self-help-tough-love help anyone? Yes, there is a lot of research in this area: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_mindset https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth_minds... I interpret is as being able to ask yourself "what did I learn" when you fail; and realizing that most success comes from trying over and over. ("Most" because some people are lucky and succeed the first time.) In general, people who adopt the growth mindset, (see the link,) are more successful.
- Nowado 4y ago
  Do you mean the research paper that's linked first in the part you linked (on praising children, measuring motivation of those children, not any results in tests not to even mention effect (or lack of it) long term on life) or the author that's mentioned there (with a large 'Criticism' section in their page that comes down to 'doesn't replicate' - and even that detail aside, this 'research', too, was about school performance with no clear ecological relevancy to the topic at hand)? I did see the link. Nothing about success, tiny bit about school performance. Have you seen the link?
dinkumthinkum 4y ago
I don’t think it’s tough love per se. I think it’s just true that many people let a victim mentality get in there way. Not derail the thread but I think it is more problematic now as victimhood is lionized today. It can be very helpful yo show people that letting go of this is a way yo change your circumstance. It doesn’t mean the person is not a victim of something or yo downplay it but it is a recognition of how to actual affect change in one’s life. I do actually some people take this advice abs internalize it and get on a more successful path because of it.