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> I go up to them How do you find them to go up to them though? Not sarcasm, genuine question. How do you find someone who a) you respect and could teach you

> I go up to them How do you find them to go up to them though? Not sarcasm, genuine question. How do you find someone who a) you respect and could teach you things you're interested in, and b) has time for you. I tried trawling through LinkedIn "to expand my network" but that's useless. I tried attending meetups, that's only slightly less useless. Lots of cool people, no mentors though. At work, it seems the people who could be a mentor are more senior and everyone wants them as the mentor. And people who're on the same level often consider you as competition and it takes a lot of work to establish enough trust for truly candid communication. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

bmitc 4y ago
Yea, I've gone up to a lot of people at work, outside of work, by cold emailing, etc. Most people are pleasant enough and will exchange a few emails, for example, but for the most part, I have never had extend beyond that. And some basically do not want to converse beyond being polite. The best success I've had is that I have attended courses at local universities why still working full-time, and by just showing up to professors' office hours is basically the only way I've gotten good mentorship. I'm sort of mid-career now, and I just feel I have missed out on mentors outside of my very first job. I'm worried about it in general because I feel inadequate to mentor others.
- sshine 4y ago
  > I'm sort of mid-career now, and I just feel I have missed out on mentors outside of my very first job. I'm worried about it in general because I feel inadequate to mentor others. I've wanted a mentor for at least 7 years now, and I didn't find one. If you're mid-career, you're probably perfect as a mentor for someone. The question I have for a mentor is "how do I get to the next step?" -- and a person who is either on that step or recently left it would know. Or someone way more ahead who's introspective and remembers well -- but I'm okay with less. I was never a better classroom teacher than on my 2nd year of university. Everything was fresh to me, including why people don't get things the first time, because I'd only recently not got it the first time.
sshine 4y ago
> How do you find them to go up to them though? I keep them around. They're like rare pokemons. Some meetup groups are better than others. Getting mentorship through work: There are two ways I can think of. 1) Pick a job so that you specifically end up working with/under the person you wish as your mentor. There's simply no way around getting it, because you'll just suck up whatever ideas and opinions they have. 2) If your workplace has a "guild" where the obsessed can meet; this is, in my sample size = 1 experience, most often done half-assed.

bmitc 4y ago

Yea, I've gone up to a lot of people at work, outside of work, by cold emailing, etc. Most people are pleasant enough and will exchange a few emails, for example, but for the most part, I have never had extend beyond that. And some basically do not want to converse beyond being polite. The best success I've had is that I have attended courses at local universities why still working full-time, and by just showing up to professors' office hours is basically the only way I've gotten good mentorship. I'm sort of mid-career now, and I just feel I have missed out on mentors outside of my very first job. I'm worried about it in general because I feel inadequate to mentor others.

sshine 4y ago
> I'm sort of mid-career now, and I just feel I have missed out on mentors outside of my very first job. I'm worried about it in general because I feel inadequate to mentor others. I've wanted a mentor for at least 7 years now, and I didn't find one. If you're mid-career, you're probably perfect as a mentor for someone. The question I have for a mentor is "how do I get to the next step?" -- and a person who is either on that step or recently left it would know. Or someone way more ahead who's introspective and remembers well -- but I'm okay with less. I was never a better classroom teacher than on my 2nd year of university. Everything was fresh to me, including why people don't get things the first time, because I'd only recently not got it the first time.

sshine 4y ago

> How do you find them to go up to them though? I keep them around. They're like rare pokemons. Some meetup groups are better than others. Getting mentorship through work: There are two ways I can think of. 1) Pick a job so that you specifically end up working with/under the person you wish as your mentor. There's simply no way around getting it, because you'll just suck up whatever ideas and opinions they have. 2) If your workplace has a "guild" where the obsessed can meet; this is, in my sample size = 1 experience, most often done half-assed.