> despite a total collapse of my childhood evangelical Christian beliefs I should perhaps clarify that while I had the total collapse and found myself staring

> despite a total collapse of my childhood evangelical Christian beliefs I should perhaps clarify that while I had the total collapse and found myself staring nihilism in the face, I currently am drifting towards a very heretical, Bible-is-flawed-and-maybe-not-divine-at-all form of faith in Jesus (in part due to the above-mentioned experience).