Anthony Bourdain was a druggie and a drunk (no judgement) with a grueling working class night job (and associated schedule and lifestyle). He didn't find succes

Anthony Bourdain was a druggie and a drunk (no judgement) with a grueling working class night job (and associated schedule and lifestyle). He didn't find success beyond that until he was almost 45, and then he lived an entirely different kind of life! He obviously serves as a cautionary tale as well. Not to suggest at all that you're suicidal, only to say that a little therapy is probably a good idea for everyone.