Yes, you can turn things around. 41-42 was the killer for me. Lost jobs (tech job meltdown in 2000/2001), broke up with long term girlfriend, car repoed, 911,

Yes, you can turn things around. 41-42 was the killer for me. Lost jobs (tech job meltdown in 2000/2001), broke up with long term girlfriend, car repoed, 911, mother died, condo foreclosed, storage shed sold at auction, all in a 10 month period. When looking back at that period, I sometimes wonder how I survived. When it all crashed down around me, some people I knew from online gaming took me in. All I had was a car and what fit in the back. Moving to a different state made a huge difference. 43 is not too old for dating. My age is too old for dating. If wife & kids is a desire, then it needs to become a total priority. I put it off, and as a result too much time passed by. To achieve a wife and kids, I have to rob the cradle. You are still in the dateable range of women in their 30s. 45 may be too late, 50 is almost certainly too late. I was saving up for expenses for a surrogate. Uninsured medical expenses destroyed that (even after the 90% discount they gave me for being uninsured). I had previously considered adoption, but Florida's child welfare dept decided to declare me "legally gay" and ban me from adopting in that state (several years after I left FL, the state changed adoption laws to allow gays/lesbians to legally adopt in FL). I had gotten involved in LGBT civil rights and the bureaucrats involved didn't think that any straight person would do that. Much like the thinking that no white person could possibly be involved in the Civil Rights movement back in the 1960s. /r/depression might be helpful. Others that may be helpful for you: /r/mentalhealth , /r/SuicideWatch . Exercise was helpful for me. Just walking about 30 minutes per day. In gyms, I find that I enjoy aerobic dancing. I found what works for me are group classes rather than doing weights or machines. I'm not trying to get all muscular. With group classes, I found that I have to fit to their schedule, so it makes telling bosses "gotta go, I'll be back in 90 minutes" as I can fit exercise breaks into my daily routines. This was extremely helpful when I worked from home. Therapy was helpful. I've used therapy whenever I had insurance. I know there are some places that have sliding-scale rates for lower income people. Most men of my generation would rather die than admit any sort of weakness. There is a DNA test that you can take that can help determine which anti-depressant medications would be helpful (or not). For example, mine said that I have a gene that makes escitalopram (Lexapro) not very useful for me (my body metabolizes it too fast). If your therapist thinks that SSRI-type antidepressants might be helpful, the test could cut down on much of the trial-and-error that goes into finding which medication works for you. Keeping up with newer technology has always been important. In the 90s and early 2000s, my budget for tech books was about $100-150/month. Nowadays, stuff moves so fast that books are obsolete before they can be printed. I'm happy being a coder and I turn into someone I hate when I've been a manager/team lead. > no vices at all other than severe procrastination and a masterful ability to lie to myself. Heh, join the club.