4 ms·

THANK YOU I know "see a therapist" is generally meant well, and therapy can definitely help, but people are way too quick to suggest it, and suggest it as a mu

THANK YOU I know "see a therapist" is generally meant well, and therapy can definitely help, but people are way too quick to suggest it, and suggest it as a must. It can communicate that a person is broken when their situation can be due to any number of things besides brokenness. I think most people know that therapy is an option, and I think many also underestimate the difficulty in not only finding an adequate therapist but a therapist at all in any reasonable amount of time.

mancerayder 4y ago
"See a Therapist" being the first, top-voted comment is to me a sign of a sick society, where loneliness reigns. In a world where in middle-age your closest friends are married with kids, and most people prefer to be 'remote-first' in friendships (you chat online with even friends you know), the answer "see a therapist" is for most people instead just a proxy for the gap: the gap of close friends and family to be able to bounce ideas and feelings off of. What should see a therapist is society itself, with top answers like that. Therapy should be reserved for the eccentric pathologies, not for routine middle-age crises and life situations.
- ineedausername 4y ago
  You hit the nail on the head, but it's too late for that now, therapy is the new trend and will only keep growing from here. And it's not a bad idea, what do you have to loose anyway. In a sick society, everyone is sick by definition anyway... so yeah... therapy
- enneff 4y ago
  Why so hostile to therapy? I have a great supportive network of friends and family, but even so a few times in my life I have seen a psychologist that gave me actionable advice that really helped me deal with personal hardships. An impartial trained professional can often see much more clearly what you’re blind to; friends mean well but sometimes their intuitive advice is actually the opposite of what you need to hear.
  - throw1234651234 4y ago
    An impartial, trained professional...in what exactly? Therapists / psychologists are glorified life coaches. "Psychology" is a mess. All therapists can do is act as a programming rubber duck equivalent. What makes the psychologist more qualified to give advice to you than yourself? Maybe the misconception comes from this "training" idea - people think there is some magical solution in psychology and it's not all a pseudo-science. P.S. if you are a trained psychologists, try to summarize psychology to me. Tell me what's left after you take away the failed theories of Freud, aversion therapy, Jung, etc?
    - o_nate 4y ago
      It could be a valuable confidence booster to be able to talk to someone who projects confidence that they know how to help you, even if their advice boils down to little more than pep talks and encouragement to take some common-sense steps.
    - doetoe 4y ago
      Actually the programming rubber duck is extraordinarily effective
    - gardenhedge 4y ago
      Refreshing to see this point of view. I see therapy being recommended as a full solution on reddit all the time
  - barry-cotter 4y ago
    Why would you call a therapist an impartial, trained professional? They’re no more impartial than a priest or imam and their provisional training has no bearing on the effectiveness of their treatment. By far the most important predictor of a positive impact of sending a therapist is the feeling that you and they have similar values and are working together[1]. Much as with teachers training has no detectable impact on effectiveness while experience does[2]. A priest who vines with you is as good as counselling as a therapist. It’s the vibes that matter, not the trappings of professionalism. [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapeutic_alliance#:~:text=A%20therapeutic%20alliance%2C%20or%20working%20alliance%2C%20is%20a,alliance%20has%20shifted%20both%20in%20form%20and%20implication https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapeutic_alliance#:~:text.... https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Paul-Crits-Christoph/publication/16132893_Predicting_outcomes_of_psychotherapy_by_the_Penn_Helping_Alliance_Rating_Method/links/0046351ed833000658000000/Predicting-outcomes-of-psychotherapy-by-the-Penn-Helping-Alliance-Rating-Method.pdf https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Paul-Crits-Christoph/pu... [2] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1971-10064-001 https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1971-10064-001
theGnuMe 4y ago
Whatever man. Nobody is implying that therapy means you are broken. It’s about growth and self actualization. Lots of people use "therapy" for performance optimization for example: sports psychology.
- ravenstine 4y ago
  That's really conflating two distinct things. Therapy is by definition the treatment of a pathology. A particular area of psychology doesn't necessarily have anything to do with pathology or malfunction. > It’s about growth and self actualization. I don't think the majority of people seeking therapy are doing so merely because they want to self actualize. Self actualization and growth may be a part of therapy, or be a next step as roadblocks are overcome, but implying that therapy isn't about addressing problems seems naive or disingenuous. Performance optimization really has little to do with what people actually mean when they're suggesting "therapy."
  - theGnuMe 4y ago
    That’s a strange definition of therapy.
    - ravenstine 4y ago
      I have an idea. You do a cursory investigation on what "therapy" is and the come back here and tell us why my definition of therapy is strange. When someone refers others to therapy in a generic sense, why do you think that's effectively the same as suggesting self actualization? Is the other party looking for self actualization, or are they probably looking to figure out the root of their problems?
      - theGnuMe 4y ago
        You are saying that therapy is just about treating a pathology. And that suggesting therapy means someone is broken. I am disagreeing with you. See for example humanistic therapy.
skippyboxedhero 4y ago
I went through quite a bad phase...I started having mental-health problems, this triggered changes in my life that made everything worse, causing more problems, spiral. I have been through three course of therapy, they helped me understand what was happening when I had an episode but...I was still in the same place, and that made all my mental-health problems worse (this isn't a post about that...but everything changed when one aspect of my material situation changed...when you go through this, everyone who has never had a problem like this will tell you therapy will help...maybe it will but your material situation is more important...there is no-one selling "material situations" at $200/hour though, so that tends to be emphasized less). No-one wants to acknowledge this because it makes mental health a trickier problem to solve. I will say generally too: putting yourself in a situation where you are constantly looking for "the answer" is fundamentally unhelpful. You may not be able to overcome it yourself, but that doesn't mean a therapist can help.

mancerayder 4y ago

"See a Therapist" being the first, top-voted comment is to me a sign of a sick society, where loneliness reigns. In a world where in middle-age your closest friends are married with kids, and most people prefer to be 'remote-first' in friendships (you chat online with even friends you know), the answer "see a therapist" is for most people instead just a proxy for the gap: the gap of close friends and family to be able to bounce ideas and feelings off of. What should see a therapist is society itself, with top answers like that. Therapy should be reserved for the eccentric pathologies, not for routine middle-age crises and life situations.

ineedausername 4y ago
You hit the nail on the head, but it's too late for that now, therapy is the new trend and will only keep growing from here. And it's not a bad idea, what do you have to loose anyway. In a sick society, everyone is sick by definition anyway... so yeah... therapy
enneff 4y ago
Why so hostile to therapy? I have a great supportive network of friends and family, but even so a few times in my life I have seen a psychologist that gave me actionable advice that really helped me deal with personal hardships. An impartial trained professional can often see much more clearly what you’re blind to; friends mean well but sometimes their intuitive advice is actually the opposite of what you need to hear.
- throw1234651234 4y ago
  An impartial, trained professional...in what exactly? Therapists / psychologists are glorified life coaches. "Psychology" is a mess. All therapists can do is act as a programming rubber duck equivalent. What makes the psychologist more qualified to give advice to you than yourself? Maybe the misconception comes from this "training" idea - people think there is some magical solution in psychology and it's not all a pseudo-science. P.S. if you are a trained psychologists, try to summarize psychology to me. Tell me what's left after you take away the failed theories of Freud, aversion therapy, Jung, etc?
  - o_nate 4y ago
    It could be a valuable confidence booster to be able to talk to someone who projects confidence that they know how to help you, even if their advice boils down to little more than pep talks and encouragement to take some common-sense steps.
  - doetoe 4y ago
    Actually the programming rubber duck is extraordinarily effective
  - gardenhedge 4y ago
    Refreshing to see this point of view. I see therapy being recommended as a full solution on reddit all the time
- barry-cotter 4y ago
  Why would you call a therapist an impartial, trained professional? They’re no more impartial than a priest or imam and their provisional training has no bearing on the effectiveness of their treatment. By far the most important predictor of a positive impact of sending a therapist is the feeling that you and they have similar values and are working together[1]. Much as with teachers training has no detectable impact on effectiveness while experience does[2]. A priest who vines with you is as good as counselling as a therapist. It’s the vibes that matter, not the trappings of professionalism. [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapeutic_alliance#:~:text=A%20therapeutic%20alliance%2C%20or%20working%20alliance%2C%20is%20a,alliance%20has%20shifted%20both%20in%20form%20and%20implication https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapeutic_alliance#:~:text.... https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Paul-Crits-Christoph/publication/16132893_Predicting_outcomes_of_psychotherapy_by_the_Penn_Helping_Alliance_Rating_Method/links/0046351ed833000658000000/Predicting-outcomes-of-psychotherapy-by-the-Penn-Helping-Alliance-Rating-Method.pdf https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Paul-Crits-Christoph/pu... [2] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1971-10064-001 https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1971-10064-001

theGnuMe 4y ago

Whatever man. Nobody is implying that therapy means you are broken. It’s about growth and self actualization. Lots of people use "therapy" for performance optimization for example: sports psychology.

ravenstine 4y ago
That's really conflating two distinct things. Therapy is by definition the treatment of a pathology. A particular area of psychology doesn't necessarily have anything to do with pathology or malfunction. > It’s about growth and self actualization. I don't think the majority of people seeking therapy are doing so merely because they want to self actualize. Self actualization and growth may be a part of therapy, or be a next step as roadblocks are overcome, but implying that therapy isn't about addressing problems seems naive or disingenuous. Performance optimization really has little to do with what people actually mean when they're suggesting "therapy."
- theGnuMe 4y ago
  That’s a strange definition of therapy.
  - ravenstine 4y ago
    I have an idea. You do a cursory investigation on what "therapy" is and the come back here and tell us why my definition of therapy is strange. When someone refers others to therapy in a generic sense, why do you think that's effectively the same as suggesting self actualization? Is the other party looking for self actualization, or are they probably looking to figure out the root of their problems?
    - theGnuMe 4y ago
      You are saying that therapy is just about treating a pathology. And that suggesting therapy means someone is broken. I am disagreeing with you. See for example humanistic therapy.

skippyboxedhero 4y ago

I went through quite a bad phase...I started having mental-health problems, this triggered changes in my life that made everything worse, causing more problems, spiral. I have been through three course of therapy, they helped me understand what was happening when I had an episode but...I was still in the same place, and that made all my mental-health problems worse (this isn't a post about that...but everything changed when one aspect of my material situation changed...when you go through this, everyone who has never had a problem like this will tell you therapy will help...maybe it will but your material situation is more important...there is no-one selling "material situations" at $200/hour though, so that tends to be emphasized less). No-one wants to acknowledge this because it makes mental health a trickier problem to solve. I will say generally too: putting yourself in a situation where you are constantly looking for "the answer" is fundamentally unhelpful. You may not be able to overcome it yourself, but that doesn't mean a therapist can help.