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This is why I always told my children that books (and later - teachers) are as good as the people who wrote them. And that some of these people are dreadful. T

This is why I always told my children that books (and later - teachers) are as good as the people who wrote them. And that some of these people are dreadful. They learned that they first must trust what their parents tell them (just joking), and then cross-check and have an open, inquisitive and sceptic mind. This basically set religion aside (though I encouraged them to look at it from a sociological aspect) and they challenged some teachers at some point - fortunately their teachers were great and happy to see someone interested. We also systematically had an opposed view to theirs (no matter what we thought) to force them to argument but the effect was mitigated. Yes, they have sensible opinions but they also challenged us with "why should I be home at 22:00 when I am not going to school the day after"? (to which I still have no idea what to answer)

Waterluvian 4y ago
Related to your very last statement, something I'm trying to avoid as much as possible as a parent is, "because I said so." That line means, "this is a dictatorship and I do not feel like explaining myself." I say "avoid" because young children can be irrational or have limited capacity for big picture logic, so there is a need for a (benevolent) dictatorship for safety and growth. Sometimes we cannot always stop to have the conversation, but I feel we need to try. So I've changed it to forms of, "because I said so, but I owe you an explanation when there's time for one." The follies of a dictatorship are, in my opinion, equally perilous at the large scale as they are at the small scale: it becomes too easy to dominate your subjects and never be wrong. I sense a level of empowerment and agency for my children in the occasional time we review a situation and the conclusion is, "I was wrong, you should have been able to take that to school. I'm sorry." Followed-up with a chat about how I got it wrong and how I try to get it right next time.

Waterluvian 4y ago

Related to your very last statement, something I'm trying to avoid as much as possible as a parent is, "because I said so." That line means, "this is a dictatorship and I do not feel like explaining myself." I say "avoid" because young children can be irrational or have limited capacity for big picture logic, so there is a need for a (benevolent) dictatorship for safety and growth. Sometimes we cannot always stop to have the conversation, but I feel we need to try. So I've changed it to forms of, "because I said so, but I owe you an explanation when there's time for one." The follies of a dictatorship are, in my opinion, equally perilous at the large scale as they are at the small scale: it becomes too easy to dominate your subjects and never be wrong. I sense a level of empowerment and agency for my children in the occasional time we review a situation and the conclusion is, "I was wrong, you should have been able to take that to school. I'm sorry." Followed-up with a chat about how I got it wrong and how I try to get it right next time.