Instead of listing everything you want and cannot control it could help to focus on things that you can control. In your case this would be employment which wou

Instead of listing everything you want and cannot control it could help to focus on things that you can control. In your case this would be employment which would help you to regain self confidence and potentially allow you to save (towards the house you want). Everything else can then fall into place in it’s own time. Additionally - and independently - I would encourage taking steps that allow you to experience joy. For example, go to a hostel at the beach, learn to talk to random strangers there. Teach yourself something cheap and fun, like surfing. Start working there on the side on the bar to finance it. Maybe add some meditation. Or whatever.