I don't want to comment on the other stuff, but 43 years old is not even half way of most professional careers. You may not be the youngest in a room but you're

I don't want to comment on the other stuff, but 43 years old is not even half way of most professional careers. You may not be the youngest in a room but you're certainly not old. Lots of people change their careers, go through a divorce, change continents, or go through other objectively tough experiences around this time in life. It's certainly not too late to build a family should you find someone. The mid-life crisis is cliché for a reason. Some people find help in therapy, but many manage without. If you have a tendency to procrastinate, maybe start with applying for a job that you won't get. I find that to be a reasonably effective method to get started with pretty much anything. With the ice broken, the next gets easier.