The best of your life is definitely not behind you! Others have suggested therapy, and as someone that spent some years with a therapist I agree with that part

The best of your life is definitely not behind you! Others have suggested therapy, and as someone that spent some years with a therapist I agree with that part, so I won't comment more on that. But I would really emphasize finding a physical practice of some sort. Finding a yoga and martial arts (muay thai) practice changed everything for me. Another comment mentioned you might be in Germany, and if I were there I'd go take a week retreat at Shaolin Temple Europe to study some forms [1]. He takes people of all ages and all levels there. [1] https://www.shaolintemple.eu/index.php?page=videos https://www.shaolintemple.eu/index.php?page=videos