i posted on twitter for the first time a little while ago and it was a terrible experience. i got into an argument with someone, a youtuber i subscribe to who h

i posted on twitter for the first time a little while ago and it was a terrible experience. i got into an argument with someone, a youtuber i subscribe to who has more than a million subscribers. it was weird talking to someone ive watched. i resorted to nastiness and veiled insults. it felt disgusting and wrong. other people came in and insulted me. it was disgusting. their insults hurt my feelings and distracted me from other things for a little while. i think that insults get their hooks in you no matter what, even if you "dont care." if you see an insult, you read that comment. you look into their history. the nice comments you skip past and dont even care. even if an insult is totally wrong, or their point is wrong, as long as that thing is triggered where you feel like youre being attacked, now that insult is a splinter in your well-being and you will engage with that insult, instinctively scratching at the splinter. the fundamental truth is that the insult or attack has altered your mental state and theres nothing you can do about it. the only way to beat it is to wait or never have it happen in the first place. joe rogan said "dont read the comments" and thats the reason. it doesnt matter if the attacks are right or wrong they will hurt you. theres no point to it. i think its similar to road rage because in both cases the primitive parts of the mind that interpret attack and mobilize stress are stimulated in an unnatural way that was never intended by nature. its simply undefined behaviour. imagine someone came along and pinched you. ouch. hurts for a while. imagine that you were in a situation where you got pinched hundreds of times a day. really hard, randomly. that might cause you to go insane. most people would say that such a person should try to escape that situation or fight against the pinchers or call the police on them. but when the sensation of pain in the brain is caused by an insult, then the advice changes to "toughen up" "maybe if you werent doing X people wouldnt insult you" etc. we treat words like they cant have an effect. but they have a visceral effect. maybe some headway would be made on the problem if we simply accepted the idea without changing any of the rules. when elon suspended journalists, i thought he was right to do that because they all were linking to and promoting activity that they all would themselves classify as doxxing, especially in light of the foiled stalker attack. when elon created the policy that promotion of other social media platforms was not allowed it didnt really bother me. paul g said he had had the last straw, i wonder what that was. it didnt line up with anything. as of right now, twitter has much more free speech than before. before, you could be banned for misgendering people. you could be banned or suspended for saying almost anything contradicting liberal ideas or federal government propaganda. so roughly half of people in the US were not able to use twitter. now only people who doxx or promote other social media platforms are being kicked off which is much less than half no matter how you slice it.