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It Is Obscene: A True Reflection in Three Parts

9 points by barry-cotter 4y ago

karmakaze 4y ago
This stood out to me: > Then I gave an interview in March 2017 in which I said that a trans woman is a trans woman, (the larger point of which was to say that we should be able to acknowledge difference while being fully inclusive, that in fact the whole premise of inclusiveness is difference.) It's not only about being inclusive of differences. For example someone who previously had psychological issues then learned to live a regular day-to-day life shouldn't be called out. Facts being facts doesn't justify blanket restatement. In most contexts if a particular difference shouldn't matter, then it doesn't need distinct identification. If it was a hot topic for the guest, perhaps the host was first to break trust.
barry-cotter 4y ago
> When you are a public figure, people will write and say false things about you. It comes with the territory. Many of those things you brush aside. Many you ignore. The people close to you advise you that silence is best. And it often is. Sometimes, though, silence makes a lie begin to take on the shimmer of truth. … > Take the case of a young woman who attended my Lagos writing workshop some years ago; she stood out because she was bright and interested in feminism. After the workshop, I welcomed her into my life. I very rarely do this, because my past experiences with young Nigerians left me wary of people who are calculating and insincere and want to use me only as an opportunity. But she was a Bright Young Nigerian Feminist and I thought that was worth making an exception. … > After she publicly insulted me, it was clear to me that this kind of noxious person had no business in my life, ever again. … > And when you personally know a famous person, when you have experienced their humanity, when you have benefited from their kindness, and yet you are unable to extend to them the basic grace and respect that even a casual acquaintanceship deserves, then it says something fundamental about you.

9 points by barry-cotter 4y ago

This stood out to me: > Then I gave an interview in March 2017 in which I said that a trans woman is a trans woman, (the larger point of which was to say that we should be able to acknowledge difference while being fully inclusive, that in fact the whole premise of inclusiveness is difference.) It's not only about being inclusive of differences. For example someone who previously had psychological issues then learned to live a regular day-to-day life shouldn't be called out. Facts being facts doesn't justify blanket restatement. In most contexts if a particular difference shouldn't matter, then it doesn't need distinct identification. If it was a hot topic for the guest, perhaps the host was first to break trust.

barry-cotter 4y ago

> When you are a public figure, people will write and say false things about you. It comes with the territory. Many of those things you brush aside. Many you ignore. The people close to you advise you that silence is best. And it often is. Sometimes, though, silence makes a lie begin to take on the shimmer of truth. … > Take the case of a young woman who attended my Lagos writing workshop some years ago; she stood out because she was bright and interested in feminism. After the workshop, I welcomed her into my life. I very rarely do this, because my past experiences with young Nigerians left me wary of people who are calculating and insincere and want to use me only as an opportunity. But she was a Bright Young Nigerian Feminist and I thought that was worth making an exception. … > After she publicly insulted me, it was clear to me that this kind of noxious person had no business in my life, ever again. … > And when you personally know a famous person, when you have experienced their humanity, when you have benefited from their kindness, and yet you are unable to extend to them the basic grace and respect that even a casual acquaintanceship deserves, then it says something fundamental about you.