7 ms·

Ask HN: Help with Meta

142 points by rqmedes 4y ago

This is a long shot, but I am a desperate dad reaching out to my developer network, and I thought I would also try here. Unfortunately, my daughter inherited my autism, which made growing up difficult. She had no friends and was bullied so severely that after multiple schools, we were forced to home-school for most of her teenage years, then through the COVID lockdowns. Social media became an essential part of her life, mainly Instagram. She worked hard on it for hours every day. She started modelling free collaborative work with photographers. She took the hard path; no bikinis, lingerie or sexualised content. She did this for years and eventually got enough followers to get regular paid modelling work, and at 19, this is now her job, along with singing which we started to help with her confidence. We are unsure how it happened, but after four years, her account has been banned for impersonation. The only thing we can think of was a week ago, she ran into some of the girls who bullied her years ago, and they probably reported her out of spite. There were no warnings, and the remediation process was a form that came back rejected with no ability to try again, even though she has a business registered for the account, driver's license and other identification. We have tried everything else, and now she cannot even create a new account, as it is getting banned for spam if she tries contacting her old network. This is not only her job but her life, her network, and her friends; it's all gone. I know these are first-world problems, and it's probably stupid to reach out to HN, but it broke my heart to witness the decade of pain she has gone through, every birthday party, not a single friend. Now watching her go through this, inconsolable, I am worried she will do something stupid to hurt herself,I am asking for any help. I am looking for any contacts at Meta to see if there is any back channel to try and get her account reinstated or advice on how to move forward.

hardwaresofton 4y ago
Just a thought, but have you considered legal action? If no one on HN is able to help, a letter written by a lawyer to Facebook legal might escalate the problem appropriately.
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Thanks for the advice; willing to try anything right now.
  - hardwaresofton 4y ago
    Absolutely no problem, really hoping for the best for you and your daughter. I hope you can find the right lawyer with the right tone and touch to make a difference here -- it's both a business and personal issue.
    - rqmedes 4y ago
      Thank you
    - rqmedes 4y ago
      It’s terrifying how easy it is today to destroy someone’s life with no escape from bullying. Back in my day, I had to deal with the beatings but I could always stay at home, and when I became an adult I could avoid it. Today nowhere is safe
      - hardwaresofton 4y ago
        Yeah this is quite concerning. I hear that younger people these days bully each other less, but I wonder if the bullying is just less visible. Humans certainly don't change as fast as technology, so it makes sense but still incredibly sad to hear what you and your family are going through. And on top of all that Meta intentionally/unintentionally making it worse.
- paxys 4y ago
  Legal action based on what?
  - ummonk 4y ago
    Doesn’t matter. The point is to get a human to pay attention.
    - paxys 4y ago
      The only human who will pay attention will be some random Facebook paralegal, who will promptly reply with some templatized "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone".
      - hardwaresofton 4y ago
        You don't know that's what will happen, or what will come of trying to find a lawyer who has experience with things like this, or pursuing the suggestion. What a defeatist attitude. This isn't what I expect to find on HN. We all know it's within FB's rights to refuse service to anyone and the convoluted ToS an policies we all agree to when using online services these days.
  - CoastalCoder 4y ago
    If it's on suspicion of slander or tortuous interference with a business relationship, perhaps unmask the reason / source of the ban during discovery? IANAL so no idea of there's any chance of that working, I'm just brainstorming.
  - hardwaresofton 4y ago
    Note that I did not say legal action -- I said a letter. With the right wording, explanation of the case and concerns, and some finesse, FB counsel who might receive this letter may be motivated to solve it quickly and efficiently. Actual legal action is a last resort, because if it goes bad everyone loses (especially the young creator, because it could take years). Good lawyers should be good at that kind of thing.
- hardwaresofton 4y ago
  Responding to myself because outside edit window. I see why people keep mentioning/focusing on "legal action" -- what I should have emphasized is "send a letter", not "bring a case against Facebook". Contacting legal is a different avenue that could be helpful for finding someone with power to do something about the problem.
from 4y ago
Depending on how much is at stake here there is a site called swapd.co where a bunch of people advertise Instagram "unbanning services." Basically they bribe Facebook support employees to get your account back. Typically they run for a few hundred dollars. I think the site has a built in escrow system too so as long as you pay on site you should be protected. I hope this goes viral so you don't have to do that but it's an option. Good luck.
- from 4y ago
  Also, here are some examples (I have not used these services specifically but I have had positive interactions with this site overall). For reference most of the scams occur in the currency exchange section because there is no escrow there unlike the other sections. https://swapd.co/t/fast-cheap-instagram-unbans/591835/75 https://swapd.co/t/fast-cheap-instagram-unbans/591835/75 https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-cheap-fast-100-success-rate/618535/111 https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-cheap-fast-100-su... https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-any-violation-no-pre-payment-diamond-club-seller/592777 https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-any-violation-no-... Just make sure if you go this route to do any trades over the checkout ticket system on the site so that no one can cheat you.
- MollyRealized 4y ago
  This is not meant as a criticism of you by any means for providing the URL - you are providing an answer to a question by advising of an existing service - but the fact that this methodology has to exist in order for this option to be available to anyone is sick, and it also seems a de-motivator for any non-bribery-related legitimate path to ever be put in place.
  - from 4y ago
    Yeah I've commented on this [before](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33040446 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33040446). The other thing is that a lot of the people unbanned by these kinds of services really did deserve to be banned. Until people inside these companies start expressing skepticism about what the abuse/"risk" departments do and how they handle false positives nothing will change so I just see it as a necessary evil but fortunately it seems some Facebook employees in this thread offered to help.
encryptluks2 4y ago
I know this isn't what you'd want to hear, but if she doesn't have an online site already it may be a good time to invest in putting the content on a website that you have more control over and trying to find channels to promote her without using Meta.
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Thanks for the advice, she does have a personal business site, but all her music and modelling work comes through her Instagram network, I believe having a large number of followers is important.
  - masters3d 4y ago
    https://www.modelmayhem.com/ https://www.modelmayhem.com/ Might also be an alternative. I only used it to find camera folks in the past when I was in film/documentary work but I know it’s mainly a modeling site. Haven’t kept up with the industry since 2015 so not sure if still relevant.
    - stevekemp 4y ago
      This is very regional, and it's hit and miss with regards to talent - on both sides of the camera. I used it a lot when I lived in Scotland, but after moving to Finland the site has nobody local at all which was a real disappointment. It has to be said that as I was leaving the UK there was a sharp rise in the number of fake profiles, and people trying to take deposits in advance, which seemed like the start of a downward spiral, but I guess I never knew for sure how that turned out.
lxe 4y ago
Shoot me an email. Contact in bio.
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Email sent, thank you!
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Thanks you so much for getting this fixed. You honestly made my Xmas. If there is ever anything I can help you with please don't hesitate in contacting me.
- Denzel 4y ago
  Thank you for being a helpful human being. From one swe to another, why does Meta require one-off corrections from a back channel based upon an individual employee’s generosity? Shouldn’t our responsibility scale, not just our technical systems, with the level of trust users place in your system when they base their livelihoods on it? I say this as a parent whose stepson spent 5 years building up a substantial following on Instagram only to have it ripped away from him like this poor girl. He went through all the proper channels, provided his identification to prove who he was, and sent all his frustration into the black hole that is Meta user support. Certainly we can do better as an industry, right?
  - rqmedes 4y ago
    I don't think LXE works for Meta, but is just an awesome human, who knows people that do. But agree with your post and am sorry for your step-son.
dnissley 4y ago
Please reach out to me at ** -- lxe got to it first.
- sgregnt 4y ago
  If others were not able to help, please reach out to me.
  - rqmedes 4y ago
    Thank you, its now fixed
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Thanks for the offer
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
- from 4y ago
  Are you 12 years old? What motivates someone to write a comment like this? Alt tab back to Discord and find some belonging in one of the 70 servers you're probably in instead of this website please.
  - ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
    I'm literally 21, and I'm killing it in life. I'll tell you what motivated me to write this comment - I had an observation about his actions, and I told it to him like it is. I don't use Discord that much because I'm not an autistic weirdo like OP.
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Doesn't seem as miserable as yours
  - dankwizard 4y ago
    He's probably a parent of one of those bullies. Glad to see the accounts back! Have a great Christmas
    - ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
      If I had a kid, I would be so proud if he was a bully. Bullies are alpha males. I wouldn't want my kid to be some geek beta male programmer.
  - ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
    My life is incredible. I'm banging 10's. I go to a top tier university. I'm on track to make 250K+ at my first job out of college.
    - 4y ago
rqmedes 4y ago
To the Hacker News Community, Thankyou! The issues has been resolved! I have lurked on this site since 2008 and have not really posted as I always struggle with the communication side of things and the rules of interaction. With software, technology and the world in general, it's hard not to get cynical as you get older. However you are willing to go out of your way to help a stranger on the internet and you have restored my energy and faith. This has meant so much for my family. LXE, thank you so much!
- lxe 4y ago
  I think someone else has beat me to it! :) It's the right call to reach out on these forums. Behind all this bureaucracy is people who are just as flabbergasted by the system.
- elecush 4y ago
  basic tech support how heart warming
- gardenhedge 4y ago
  can you share how it was resolved and what trigger the ban in the first place?
  - rqmedes 4y ago
    We have no idea what triggered it, she just logged in, and it was removed for impersonation. My daughter challenged this through a form Instagram provided. It came back saying that the request was denied and the account was gone, and you couldn't try again. Every other request or attempt came back with the same message, where you could not even submit as it blocked the submit form. To resolve this, I reached out to everyone I knew in tech, I have worked in the industry for over 20 years and know lots of people in lots of companies globally. I also posted here on HN in this post, and several people looked into it for me. This was really weird for me; I never usually ask for help, for anything. It's not something men in my generation do, even though I help others every chance I get. Its actually been a valuable life lesson for me, swallowing my pride and risking coming across vulnerable was a little scary, but asking for help was worth it. Looking back if I did this earlier in my life and career, things would of probably been a lot easier.
wilsonnnn 4y ago
Happy to hear the issue is resolved. I'd be glad to bring my friends to wish her on her birthday. No one deserves to go through that. Wishing you and yours happy holidays!
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Thanks, happy holidays to you as well.
MollyRealized 4y ago
If I can respectfully add something to this post - I'm not sure how much this might help, but to those who were kind enough to offer to help, I would with great respect ask you to consider adding any internal influence you might have towards trying to make this sort of one-on-one, based-on-who-you-can-connect-with action unnecessary. There is obviously something severely broken here. Aside from any ethical/moral issue, I imagine Mr. Zuckerberg might be surprised about how becoming the one of the first Big Tech firms to "fix" their response might prove of great pragmatic benefit. I'm fully aware the product is us, but for us to be a worthwhile product, we have to choose the site, something that is no longer as much of a reliable default for Meta. Just my $0.02 as a Jo Schmoe in the Midwest.
rograndom 4y ago
I was hoping to write up a TellHN about something similar once my situation was resolved, but the same thing happened to me at the end of November. My Facebook account has MFA and a very strong, unique password. I began to receive emails about my "account recovery code", which I ignored. A day or so later I received an email that MFA was disabled, and then one that my password had been reset. I was able to immediately reset it again from a new device, log in, log out all other sessions and re-enable MFA. Then a few hours later the same thing happened, but by that time it was overnight and I wasn't able to catch it in time. I woke up to the emails outlining that process again along with one saying my account had been suspended. I went through the recommend process of supplying my ID, which was rejected as "forged" and I was told my account would be terminated, decision is final, no ability to appeal, etc. Luckily (maybe?) my account created Facebook Apps for some state and federal government offices and personnel, and those went away at the same time. Now there's some high level people butting heads with the Meta Pro team on my behalf, and I'm watching the emails as they go back and forth. It's about 3 weeks later and I still haven't gotten access back yet, but we've collected dozens of other cases of people that have had the same thing happen going back to mid-October. It appears to be a scam where attackers are able to somehow gain access to Facebook accounts bypassing passwords and other authentication processes and then post about crypto and NFT sales on Facebook marketplace. If the account has a credit card attached, they will buy $100-500 worth of Facebook ads for the same thing. We're all wondering what happens to the regular people who don't have the business connections to have the ability to reach out to someone that is able to bypass the regular process that is failing in a major way?

142 points by rqmedes 4y ago

hardwaresofton 4y ago

Just a thought, but have you considered legal action? If no one on HN is able to help, a letter written by a lawyer to Facebook legal might escalate the problem appropriately.

rqmedes 4y ago
Thanks for the advice; willing to try anything right now.
- hardwaresofton 4y ago
  Absolutely no problem, really hoping for the best for you and your daughter. I hope you can find the right lawyer with the right tone and touch to make a difference here -- it's both a business and personal issue.
  - rqmedes 4y ago
    Thank you
  - rqmedes 4y ago
    It’s terrifying how easy it is today to destroy someone’s life with no escape from bullying. Back in my day, I had to deal with the beatings but I could always stay at home, and when I became an adult I could avoid it. Today nowhere is safe
    - hardwaresofton 4y ago
      Yeah this is quite concerning. I hear that younger people these days bully each other less, but I wonder if the bullying is just less visible. Humans certainly don't change as fast as technology, so it makes sense but still incredibly sad to hear what you and your family are going through. And on top of all that Meta intentionally/unintentionally making it worse.
paxys 4y ago
Legal action based on what?
- ummonk 4y ago
  Doesn’t matter. The point is to get a human to pay attention.
  - paxys 4y ago
    The only human who will pay attention will be some random Facebook paralegal, who will promptly reply with some templatized "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone".
    - hardwaresofton 4y ago
      You don't know that's what will happen, or what will come of trying to find a lawyer who has experience with things like this, or pursuing the suggestion. What a defeatist attitude. This isn't what I expect to find on HN. We all know it's within FB's rights to refuse service to anyone and the convoluted ToS an policies we all agree to when using online services these days.
- CoastalCoder 4y ago
  If it's on suspicion of slander or tortuous interference with a business relationship, perhaps unmask the reason / source of the ban during discovery? IANAL so no idea of there's any chance of that working, I'm just brainstorming.
- hardwaresofton 4y ago
  Note that I did not say legal action -- I said a letter. With the right wording, explanation of the case and concerns, and some finesse, FB counsel who might receive this letter may be motivated to solve it quickly and efficiently. Actual legal action is a last resort, because if it goes bad everyone loses (especially the young creator, because it could take years). Good lawyers should be good at that kind of thing.
hardwaresofton 4y ago
Responding to myself because outside edit window. I see why people keep mentioning/focusing on "legal action" -- what I should have emphasized is "send a letter", not "bring a case against Facebook". Contacting legal is a different avenue that could be helpful for finding someone with power to do something about the problem.

from 4y ago

Depending on how much is at stake here there is a site called swapd.co where a bunch of people advertise Instagram "unbanning services." Basically they bribe Facebook support employees to get your account back. Typically they run for a few hundred dollars. I think the site has a built in escrow system too so as long as you pay on site you should be protected. I hope this goes viral so you don't have to do that but it's an option. Good luck.

from 4y ago
Also, here are some examples (I have not used these services specifically but I have had positive interactions with this site overall). For reference most of the scams occur in the currency exchange section because there is no escrow there unlike the other sections. https://swapd.co/t/fast-cheap-instagram-unbans/591835/75 https://swapd.co/t/fast-cheap-instagram-unbans/591835/75 https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-cheap-fast-100-success-rate/618535/111 https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-cheap-fast-100-su... https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-any-violation-no-pre-payment-diamond-club-seller/592777 https://swapd.co/t/instagram-unban-service-any-violation-no-... Just make sure if you go this route to do any trades over the checkout ticket system on the site so that no one can cheat you.
MollyRealized 4y ago
This is not meant as a criticism of you by any means for providing the URL - you are providing an answer to a question by advising of an existing service - but the fact that this methodology has to exist in order for this option to be available to anyone is sick, and it also seems a de-motivator for any non-bribery-related legitimate path to ever be put in place.
- from 4y ago
  Yeah I've commented on this [before](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33040446 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33040446). The other thing is that a lot of the people unbanned by these kinds of services really did deserve to be banned. Until people inside these companies start expressing skepticism about what the abuse/"risk" departments do and how they handle false positives nothing will change so I just see it as a necessary evil but fortunately it seems some Facebook employees in this thread offered to help.

encryptluks2 4y ago

I know this isn't what you'd want to hear, but if she doesn't have an online site already it may be a good time to invest in putting the content on a website that you have more control over and trying to find channels to promote her without using Meta.

rqmedes 4y ago
Thanks for the advice, she does have a personal business site, but all her music and modelling work comes through her Instagram network, I believe having a large number of followers is important.
- masters3d 4y ago
  https://www.modelmayhem.com/ https://www.modelmayhem.com/ Might also be an alternative. I only used it to find camera folks in the past when I was in film/documentary work but I know it’s mainly a modeling site. Haven’t kept up with the industry since 2015 so not sure if still relevant.
  - stevekemp 4y ago
    This is very regional, and it's hit and miss with regards to talent - on both sides of the camera. I used it a lot when I lived in Scotland, but after moving to Finland the site has nobody local at all which was a real disappointment. It has to be said that as I was leaving the UK there was a sharp rise in the number of fake profiles, and people trying to take deposits in advance, which seemed like the start of a downward spiral, but I guess I never knew for sure how that turned out.

lxe 4y ago

Shoot me an email. Contact in bio.

rqmedes 4y ago
Email sent, thank you!
rqmedes 4y ago
Thanks you so much for getting this fixed. You honestly made my Xmas. If there is ever anything I can help you with please don't hesitate in contacting me.
Denzel 4y ago
Thank you for being a helpful human being. From one swe to another, why does Meta require one-off corrections from a back channel based upon an individual employee’s generosity? Shouldn’t our responsibility scale, not just our technical systems, with the level of trust users place in your system when they base their livelihoods on it? I say this as a parent whose stepson spent 5 years building up a substantial following on Instagram only to have it ripped away from him like this poor girl. He went through all the proper channels, provided his identification to prove who he was, and sent all his frustration into the black hole that is Meta user support. Certainly we can do better as an industry, right?
- rqmedes 4y ago
  I don't think LXE works for Meta, but is just an awesome human, who knows people that do. But agree with your post and am sorry for your step-son.

dnissley 4y ago

Please reach out to me at ** -- lxe got to it first.

sgregnt 4y ago
If others were not able to help, please reach out to me.
- rqmedes 4y ago
  Thank you, its now fixed
rqmedes 4y ago
Thanks for the offer

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago

from 4y ago
Are you 12 years old? What motivates someone to write a comment like this? Alt tab back to Discord and find some belonging in one of the 70 servers you're probably in instead of this website please.
- ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
  I'm literally 21, and I'm killing it in life. I'll tell you what motivated me to write this comment - I had an observation about his actions, and I told it to him like it is. I don't use Discord that much because I'm not an autistic weirdo like OP.
rqmedes 4y ago
Doesn't seem as miserable as yours
- dankwizard 4y ago
  He's probably a parent of one of those bullies. Glad to see the accounts back! Have a great Christmas
  - ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
    If I had a kid, I would be so proud if he was a bully. Bullies are alpha males. I wouldn't want my kid to be some geek beta male programmer.
- ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
  My life is incredible. I'm banging 10's. I go to a top tier university. I'm on track to make 250K+ at my first job out of college.
  - 4y ago

rqmedes 4y ago

To the Hacker News Community, Thankyou! The issues has been resolved! I have lurked on this site since 2008 and have not really posted as I always struggle with the communication side of things and the rules of interaction. With software, technology and the world in general, it's hard not to get cynical as you get older. However you are willing to go out of your way to help a stranger on the internet and you have restored my energy and faith. This has meant so much for my family. LXE, thank you so much!

lxe 4y ago
I think someone else has beat me to it! :) It's the right call to reach out on these forums. Behind all this bureaucracy is people who are just as flabbergasted by the system.
elecush 4y ago
basic tech support how heart warming
gardenhedge 4y ago
can you share how it was resolved and what trigger the ban in the first place?
- rqmedes 4y ago
  We have no idea what triggered it, she just logged in, and it was removed for impersonation. My daughter challenged this through a form Instagram provided. It came back saying that the request was denied and the account was gone, and you couldn't try again. Every other request or attempt came back with the same message, where you could not even submit as it blocked the submit form. To resolve this, I reached out to everyone I knew in tech, I have worked in the industry for over 20 years and know lots of people in lots of companies globally. I also posted here on HN in this post, and several people looked into it for me. This was really weird for me; I never usually ask for help, for anything. It's not something men in my generation do, even though I help others every chance I get. Its actually been a valuable life lesson for me, swallowing my pride and risking coming across vulnerable was a little scary, but asking for help was worth it. Looking back if I did this earlier in my life and career, things would of probably been a lot easier.

wilsonnnn 4y ago

Happy to hear the issue is resolved. I'd be glad to bring my friends to wish her on her birthday. No one deserves to go through that. Wishing you and yours happy holidays!

rqmedes 4y ago
Thanks, happy holidays to you as well.

MollyRealized 4y ago

If I can respectfully add something to this post - I'm not sure how much this might help, but to those who were kind enough to offer to help, I would with great respect ask you to consider adding any internal influence you might have towards trying to make this sort of one-on-one, based-on-who-you-can-connect-with action unnecessary. There is obviously something severely broken here. Aside from any ethical/moral issue, I imagine Mr. Zuckerberg might be surprised about how becoming the one of the first Big Tech firms to "fix" their response might prove of great pragmatic benefit. I'm fully aware the product is us, but for us to be a worthwhile product, we have to choose the site, something that is no longer as much of a reliable default for Meta. Just my $0.02 as a Jo Schmoe in the Midwest.

rograndom 4y ago

I was hoping to write up a TellHN about something similar once my situation was resolved, but the same thing happened to me at the end of November. My Facebook account has MFA and a very strong, unique password. I began to receive emails about my "account recovery code", which I ignored. A day or so later I received an email that MFA was disabled, and then one that my password had been reset. I was able to immediately reset it again from a new device, log in, log out all other sessions and re-enable MFA. Then a few hours later the same thing happened, but by that time it was overnight and I wasn't able to catch it in time. I woke up to the emails outlining that process again along with one saying my account had been suspended. I went through the recommend process of supplying my ID, which was rejected as "forged" and I was told my account would be terminated, decision is final, no ability to appeal, etc. Luckily (maybe?) my account created Facebook Apps for some state and federal government offices and personnel, and those went away at the same time. Now there's some high level people butting heads with the Meta Pro team on my behalf, and I'm watching the emails as they go back and forth. It's about 3 weeks later and I still haven't gotten access back yet, but we've collected dozens of other cases of people that have had the same thing happen going back to mid-October. It appears to be a scam where attackers are able to somehow gain access to Facebook accounts bypassing passwords and other authentication processes and then post about crypto and NFT sales on Facebook marketplace. If the account has a credit card attached, they will buy $100-500 worth of Facebook ads for the same thing. We're all wondering what happens to the regular people who don't have the business connections to have the ability to reach out to someone that is able to bypass the regular process that is failing in a major way?