4 ms·

It's very difficult. I was lucky to have access to the internet in the late 80s and have watched it grow, mature, evolve. I know how quickly things can change

It's very difficult. I was lucky to have access to the internet in the late 80s and have watched it grow, mature, evolve. I know how quickly things can change, and I don't want my kids to miss out or be left behind. But at the same time, the dangers that exist today didn't exist even in the 90s. My biggest fear then was receiving an email virus. Now, Social Media alone is enough to make a parent take a step back and wonder what is the right time to introduce your children to the internet. Our solution, which isn't perfect, is to use a parent control app. Kids can use their devices for X hours and only certain times of day, and we have to approve each app install or purchase made on the phone. It feels like too much control, but the alternative is too dangerous. And even still I walk in on the kids to see what they are doing. It's a balancing act that will take time to figure out. We are evolving as a global cultural, technological race, and evolving fast.

ihatepython 4y ago
> Now, Social Media alone is enough to make a parent take a step back and wonder what is the right time to introduce your children to the internet. This implies that parents are knowledgeable and responsible people who know better, when in reality, the vast majority of parents are complete morons.
a-dub 4y ago
some of my first ever C programs did just this for the dos computers at my high school.
411111111111111 4y ago
> Social Media alone is enough to make a parent take a step back and wonder what is the right time to introduce your children to the internet. I can't help but wonder whenever I hear this message: do you know, really? After taking with them a little, it often comes down to pretty ... innocuous things in my opinion. Sure, there's always peer pressure and they'll be constantly judged etc, but that's just a an exaggerated baseline of what teenagers always had. Surely troublesome and not good for their mental health, but they'll probably get over it eventually. From my perspective, the biggest danger that current social media created is that the creep factor is gone for stalking. To make a pretty regular example, let's say there is a teenage girl that's feeling lonely. She starts a live stream to talk with people. Some people show up and are super positive! They even give her some stickers (which are literally just money on TikTok she can check out...). Isn't it great to be valued? I don't think I need to write the rest of the story, as it's quiet obvious where the grooming eventually leads. It's especially hard to swallow because the money she could make is astronomically higher then she'd ever have a chance of making anywhere else. Good luck explaining that... Seriously, the original social media was so frickin tame. It's so much more twisted now that money is involved and everything is moving towards 1 person with an audience vs "your group of friends" before.
- adamrezich 4y ago
  when I got my own PC in my bedroom (with Ethernet!) as a middle-schooler around 2004, sure, there was plenty of online games and game development forums and porn and whatever else to occupy my attention… but I had no way of taking any of it with me on the go, easily-accessible wherever I am. this is the basis of my fears for introducing the children I will be having (in the next few years) to the new Internet: it's a pervasive lifestyle change. modern social media apps (instagram, tiktok) are nothing short of digital drugs that you never run out of. why do x y and z in the real world when you could just pull your phone out of your pocket, swipe your finger across its screen a few times, and instantly obtain infinite entertainment that is infinitely more engaging than anything else you could possibly do with your time? the real challenge in my opinion is to instill the dangers of these sorts of things upon one's children in such a way that despite peer pressure—including the ambient peer pressure of everyone out in public staring idly at their phones—they come to see these dangerous digital drugs as what they are, without having to partake in order to "find out for themselves." and of course, this all has to be done without accidentally causing the classic "well my family banned this in our house but now that I'm on my own I'm going to binge as much of this shit as possible" conundrum. which I was definitely guilty of myself as a young person whose family highly restricted access to video games for most of my childhood… turns out that's a great way to get a kid to end up becoming a game developer lol
- McSwag 4y ago
  That’s a serious concern for sure. There’s also the weaponization of information which shouldn’t be overlooked. At an age when kids really haven’t learned to think critically or have the wisdom to realize they’re being manipulated particularly those vulnerable teen years, I think parents do need to consider this. It’s pretty much at least a second job to keep tabs on what kids are viewing/consuming/doing online at all times. If you have multiple children forget it. Parental controls are extremely limited, schools require access to youtube.com and google.com and facebook for events so that pretty much opens the door to view/access most adult things without ever touching a “questionable” website. “The algorithm” still forms a bias on what kids see as well, further eroding critical thinking skills. A vast majority of parents don’t bother with any controls at all which undermines the effort of those that do which the can lead to resentment and frustration because of peer pressure. To say that I’m worried about this is an understatement but I also don’t think the cat can be put back in the bag.
tryauuum 4y ago
I don't have kids so you can throw away my advice instantly But if I were doing it, I'd do the same, but allowed couple of days per month of unrestricted internet usage. Just so they would experience how unproductive these days are compared to normal days
- jhanschoo 4y ago
  Ymmv, I hang about discords full of underperforming children and they would like nothing better than to game and chat with friends all day, as did myself when I was a child. That said, there is usually something lacking in their (and my) family culture that results in such behavior.
  - paulryanrogers 4y ago
    Humans are lazy. They like things others consider a waste of time. Kids don't need more judgement or strictly regimented 'culture'.
tannhauser23 4y ago
Prediction: elite private schools will start banning social media and/or smartphone use by its students, and the trend will spread to the greater public.

ihatepython 4y ago

> Now, Social Media alone is enough to make a parent take a step back and wonder what is the right time to introduce your children to the internet. This implies that parents are knowledgeable and responsible people who know better, when in reality, the vast majority of parents are complete morons.

a-dub 4y ago

some of my first ever C programs did just this for the dos computers at my high school.

411111111111111 4y ago

> Social Media alone is enough to make a parent take a step back and wonder what is the right time to introduce your children to the internet. I can't help but wonder whenever I hear this message: do you know, really? After taking with them a little, it often comes down to pretty ... innocuous things in my opinion. Sure, there's always peer pressure and they'll be constantly judged etc, but that's just a an exaggerated baseline of what teenagers always had. Surely troublesome and not good for their mental health, but they'll probably get over it eventually. From my perspective, the biggest danger that current social media created is that the creep factor is gone for stalking. To make a pretty regular example, let's say there is a teenage girl that's feeling lonely. She starts a live stream to talk with people. Some people show up and are super positive! They even give her some stickers (which are literally just money on TikTok she can check out...). Isn't it great to be valued? I don't think I need to write the rest of the story, as it's quiet obvious where the grooming eventually leads. It's especially hard to swallow because the money she could make is astronomically higher then she'd ever have a chance of making anywhere else. Good luck explaining that... Seriously, the original social media was so frickin tame. It's so much more twisted now that money is involved and everything is moving towards 1 person with an audience vs "your group of friends" before.

adamrezich 4y ago
when I got my own PC in my bedroom (with Ethernet!) as a middle-schooler around 2004, sure, there was plenty of online games and game development forums and porn and whatever else to occupy my attention… but I had no way of taking any of it with me on the go, easily-accessible wherever I am. this is the basis of my fears for introducing the children I will be having (in the next few years) to the new Internet: it's a pervasive lifestyle change. modern social media apps (instagram, tiktok) are nothing short of digital drugs that you never run out of. why do x y and z in the real world when you could just pull your phone out of your pocket, swipe your finger across its screen a few times, and instantly obtain infinite entertainment that is infinitely more engaging than anything else you could possibly do with your time? the real challenge in my opinion is to instill the dangers of these sorts of things upon one's children in such a way that despite peer pressure—including the ambient peer pressure of everyone out in public staring idly at their phones—they come to see these dangerous digital drugs as what they are, without having to partake in order to "find out for themselves." and of course, this all has to be done without accidentally causing the classic "well my family banned this in our house but now that I'm on my own I'm going to binge as much of this shit as possible" conundrum. which I was definitely guilty of myself as a young person whose family highly restricted access to video games for most of my childhood… turns out that's a great way to get a kid to end up becoming a game developer lol
McSwag 4y ago
That’s a serious concern for sure. There’s also the weaponization of information which shouldn’t be overlooked. At an age when kids really haven’t learned to think critically or have the wisdom to realize they’re being manipulated particularly those vulnerable teen years, I think parents do need to consider this. It’s pretty much at least a second job to keep tabs on what kids are viewing/consuming/doing online at all times. If you have multiple children forget it. Parental controls are extremely limited, schools require access to youtube.com and google.com and facebook for events so that pretty much opens the door to view/access most adult things without ever touching a “questionable” website. “The algorithm” still forms a bias on what kids see as well, further eroding critical thinking skills. A vast majority of parents don’t bother with any controls at all which undermines the effort of those that do which the can lead to resentment and frustration because of peer pressure. To say that I’m worried about this is an understatement but I also don’t think the cat can be put back in the bag.

tryauuum 4y ago

I don't have kids so you can throw away my advice instantly But if I were doing it, I'd do the same, but allowed couple of days per month of unrestricted internet usage. Just so they would experience how unproductive these days are compared to normal days

jhanschoo 4y ago
Ymmv, I hang about discords full of underperforming children and they would like nothing better than to game and chat with friends all day, as did myself when I was a child. That said, there is usually something lacking in their (and my) family culture that results in such behavior.
- paulryanrogers 4y ago
  Humans are lazy. They like things others consider a waste of time. Kids don't need more judgement or strictly regimented 'culture'.

tannhauser23 4y ago

Prediction: elite private schools will start banning social media and/or smartphone use by its students, and the trend will spread to the greater public.